Monday, January 30, 2006

Testing YouTube



If this had been an actual video it might have been interesting.

Just a test, folks. Better luck next time.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

One Chevy Chase Is Too Many

Sony Pictures - RV

Newsflash to Robin Williams... We don't need a second Chevy Chase.

Saw this movie being promoted during tonight's Extreme Makeover.

I loved this movie 25 years ago when it was called National Lampoon's Vacation.

Somebody draft the obit cause Mork's career is over.

A Marriage Tip from Your Friends at The MediaBlog

If you are a guy with a desk job whose favorite hobbies are reading, watching TV and playing on the computer and your wife comes to you with the bright idea one Saturday morning of doing four or five hours of yard work while it's still cool...

RUN LIKE HELL!

My back hurts, I'm walking like Chester from Gunsmoke and I've got a sunburn on the back of my neck.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

We Kid Because We Love

Top Ten George W. Bush moments

060115-george-bush-letterman


Why can we lovingly make fun of Dubya?

Because we don't care if he's a little clumsy, we don't care if he doesn't speak well... We're just happy he kills terrorists, cuts taxes and doesn't sodomize the interns. That's all we want out of a chief executive.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Fighting Above Her Weight

Starving woman curses God, dies in her sleep - Yahoo! News

And, after polishing off the mouthy bitch, the Almighty kicked back with a cold one and watched a little CSI.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Say Buh-Bye

IDontLikeYouInThatWay - NBC Drops Book of Daniel

The low morals, low rated Book of Daniel is history. Strangely enough, even the usually snarky IDon'tLikeYouInThatWay (think Wonkette minus the politics and moved to the west coast) hits it on the head. To wit:

Anything considered "edgy" and "controversial" will always cause a large majority of society to set themselves on fire in protest when they could have just as easily changed the channel. But damn, the writers laid it on a bit thick didn't they? I'm surprised they didn't make the family dog a pre-op transsexual serial killer, or the grandmother a cannibal with lung cancer. If cost of production was an issue, they should have shown a live feed of people taking turns pissing on a bible instead, and saved at least 15% or more.

This Page Intentionally Blank

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Nutjob Preacher Hates You (and your 401k)

Pastor Urges Microsoft Stock Buy-And-Dump: Financial News - Yahoo! Finance

I think I talked a bit about this guy before. In a nutshell, he hates Microsoft. Okay, not that he's alone in that, but he wants people to screw around with MS because the company supports a bill in Washington that would add sexual orientation to the list of protected classes in Washington.

Now, in truth, I agree with him on that, but we here at The MediaBlog are no great fans of boycotts and their like. We're also not a big fan of collateral damage. Why the hell would you screw ordinary people who just happen to hold Microsoft in their retirement accounts? Not that wackjob is going to get anyone beyond his immediate family to play his little stock rigging game.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Is Martin Black???? What The Fuck Kind of Question is That???

I fucking hate 7th Heaven. Good God, strike these characters dead. We've got to put up with 10 more hours of this shit?

Those two little tard kids, slutty Ruthie, idiot Martin, Lucy playing minister... I hate every goddamned one of these fuckwads. All of them.

Oh, and for the record, if a teacher gave the class an assignment to do a report on a great white person from history there would be blood on the lockers. Count on it. Isn't one day a year for the beatification of St. Martin enough?

Also, for the record, there is no such thing as a "hate" crime. There are crimes. I don't give a shit what the motivation is, nor do I think you deserve extra punishment just because you decided to prey on some particular privileged group. If you bash my skull in with a baseball bat why should you get one day less than if you bash in the skull of a black Hindu lesbian?

And for the record again... What kind of pussy racists do they have in Glen Oak? They write it on the back of his van in soap or whatever? Geez, I suppose they set off flourescent crosses on peoples lawns too.

And here we go with the record again... Why can you say ever motherfucking goddamned word on TV that you like but "nigger" (which is an undeniably ugly word) is verboten? Grow a pair, 7th Heaven.

This show increases my blood pressure. I watch from inertia but why? Why do I do this to myself? Make it stop!!!!

License to Fondle

ALMTTR: irritating libs since 2001 » Blog Archive » Scarlett Johansson Groped At Awards

Hmm... So if you're straight and you grope a woman's breasts without permission you're a sexual predator. If you're gay and you grope a woman's breasts without permission you're just colorful or something.

Hmm... Maybe I should switch teams.

And for the record, I don't necessarily think Scarlett Johansson is all that hot... At least, not in the face. The dress, however... Well, that's another matter entirely.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The West (Left) Wing

Tonight, as the seven year run of The West Wing begins to run toward it's whimper-not-a-bang conclusion, President Bartlett handles a potential nuclear metldown at a California reactor. In response to this potential disaster, Bartlett takes immediate, strong Federal action and heads for California to personally serve as the disaster Czar.

This is the perfect opportunity for The West Wing. Not only to they get to bash nuclear power, they also get to contrast the strong determined response of fictional President Bartlett with the supposedly feckless Katrina response of the Bush Administration.

The West Wing should have made a quiet departure in 2002. After 9/11 it's just so sanctimonious and preachy and dull and small. I'd almost rather be watching Murder She Wrote.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

How Many Polocks...

Brookstone.com : Motorized Lightbulb Changer

...does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one with our new motorized lightbulb changer! No need for ladders, no need for friends. Only $59.95.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I'm In The Market

TIVO: Summary for TIVO INC - Yahoo! Finance

The MediaBlog has officially entered the realm of capitalist exploiters. Yeah, I've had the 401k for years, but I've not really done a lot with individual stocks in a normal brokerage account.

It's not a lot. 93 shares of Tivo. I'm going to try to expand it this year. If you read through this blog you'll know that I'm a big fan of Tivo. It's hard for me to see how a company with this good of a product can fail to do well. Of course, they've been around for nearly a decade and still aren't profitable.

Really though, my strong suspicion is that Tivo is going to be acquired this year. That's been in the wind for a couple of years, but this year really seems to be the year where the Internet biggies move full speed into video. Whether it's Apple, Microsoft, Google or Yahoo (and Tivo already has a partnership with Yahoo), Tivo seems like a natural for one of them.

On The Ropes

Bin Laden to America - Let's Make a Deal

A little something new in Raghead #1's voicemail. He's offering a truce. Obviously not sincere, obviously not possible, but just as obviously a sign of an enemy on the ropes. Do you think maybe the sound of the Predator drones overhead haunts his nightmares?

Vagina Gazing

Shoutout to Anne Taylor Fleming. Girlfriend, time to stop vagina gazing and waxing poetic about a female president. Neither of us is likely to live to see it and if, God forbid, we do it ain't going to be Hillary.

Hmmm... I wonder if the pussy power crowd would rather have a male Democrat over a female Republican?

The MediaBlog Two Line Summary of PBS's The NewsHour's Coverage of the Cisneros Report

Long title, huh?

Anyway, here goes:

Investigation of Democrats? Bad
Investigtion of Republicans? Good

Big surprise from Ray Suarez, huh?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Today's Strange Observation

Tonight I enjoyed a very tasty sandwich made by a Subway employee with three thumbs.

Well, maybe more like two and a half thumbs. The extra one was sort of a stub growing out of an actual thumb. Had a nail though. Does that mean it counts as a full thumb? You make the call!

Good sub though and a friendly guy.

I Guess Mr. Freak Show May Have Jumped the Gun

ABC News: U.S. Strike Killed al Qaeda Bomb Maker

Nice job, asshole. Maybe next time you won't be quite so hasty in cancelling your appearance on Letterman. Take your plate-spinning ass back to Norway/obscurity.

It's Gone Too Far

Judging by the very high-strung little cowboy (hereafter referred to as Prancer) who just made it through on American Idol, Brokeback Mountain fever has made it to reality TV.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Well, I Guess He Showed Us

Performer drops Letterman after US bombing - Aftenposten.no

Norwegian freak show performer Eskil Ronningsbakken decides to skip being on Letterman in order to protest the US attack against a suspected Al Qaida site in Pakistan.

"After Friday's (bombing), it's not of interest to contribute anything at all to a country like the USA," Rønningsbakken said.

Um... Yeah. Nice try, Eskil. Still, it isn't like you were actually going to be on Letterman. You understand that, right? Dave saves the sideshow types for 12:32am so he can bump them when Bill Murray decides he wants to tell one extra story about his cat.

What A Difference 5 Years Makes


A little over five years ago, Dems were willing to jump through electoral hoops to steal an election in order to get Joe Lieberman into the Vice Presidency. And now?

A Little Black and White Blogporn

In between sessions of hot, heathen she-beast sex, uber hottie Angelina Jolie likes to relax with a good book.

Just One Question

Why did Demi Moore marry a pimp?

What About Here?

CNN allowed to resume work in Iran after apology - Yahoo! News

Do you think if Dubya banned CNN from the White House he might get an apology too? Or does CNN just save it's sucking up for despots in Iran and Cuba?

Monday, January 16, 2006

Jesus Wants You To Go Open Source

AP NewsBreak: Pastor Protests Gay Rights: Urges Boycott of Microsoft

I'm no big fan of the Homosexual Agenda ©, but I'm not a big believer in boycotts either. Mainly because they usually make the boycotter look like an idiot but also because they don't work. This Right Wing loon wants us to switch to Linux because Microsoft is advocating passage of a gay civil rights bill in Washington state.

Give it up, friend. It ain't going to fly. I'm no believer in creating yet another protected class of people, but this just isn't going to work.

Stand Back! He's Flying Apart!

Philadelphia Inquirer | 01/16/2006 | Gail Shister | PBS offers Oprah a 'Masterpiece Theatre' partnership

Alistair Cooke's body is spinning so fast his digits are going to come flying off.

"Oprah Winfrey Presents Masterpiece Theater"?????

I swear to God they need to defund PBS yesterday. What purpose does it serve? The only niche that isn't filled by nearly universal cable is the overwhelming demand for strange people who show you how to paint bad landscapes.

Sodomy Carries The Night!

Golden Globes - Nominations and Winners

Well, Gentle Reader, it was a great night for butt bongo among the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

Brokeback Mountain (AKA Ride Him, Cowboy!) wins Best Motion Picture - Drama, Best Director, Best Screenplay, and Best Original Song.

Felicity Huffman wins Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama for Transamerica (AKA Cut My Dick Off, Now!!!)

and

Philip Seymour Hoffman wins Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama for Capote (AKA How Can Even A Gay Man Be Attracted to THIS Voice).

Hollywood has a hard on for Sodomy! I'm shocked. Shocked!

From Left To Right


Wouldn't. Would. Wouldn't. Would. Would.

Smoke Em If You Got Em

Noted Enviro-Wacko: You're All Fucked!

Well, so much for fucking around with Kyoto. I mean, this nutjob says we're all screwed anyway so what the hell difference does it make anyway?

So, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go roast a few spotted owls over some recently harvested Amazonian hardwood.

Really though, does anyone other than the Earth Liberation Front sort of douchebag take this guy seriously? Gaia? Humanity as a disease?

I've never really understood why these Lefties with the hyperactive conscience don't just kill themselves so there will be fewer "disease" organisms for Mother Earth to deal with. Oh, right, because without them to show us the way, the rest of us would just sit in our own shit and wait to die.

Why do I always forget that the revolution has to be directed by a small, committed band? I must be some sort of menshevik.

I Think I Saw Something About This On The X-Files

Breaking! Pitt-Jolie Offspring To Be Stunning! - Defamer

Alien super-race (Jolie) interbreeds with ordinary humans (Pitt) to create a race of ubermen destined to destroy humanity.

It's all over the but the anal probing, my friends. Repent!

Cruel Wagering

Former President Gerald Ford Hospitalized - Yahoo! News

Six months.

I'll take the under. Anyone want the over?

Soggy Buses Nagin Goes Batty Again

BREITBART.COM - New Orleans Mayor Says God Mad at U.S.

Yeah, fine, whatever. I'm tired of other people speaking for God in this way. Pat Robertson, Soggy Buses Nagin... All of them.

What really gets me is his contention that New Orleans must be a "chocolate" city.

Chocolate?

Buy your own candy, Soggy Buses. I'm not really interested in spending my tax money on your racist vision for your filthy, degenerate city.

Recall Nagin!
Recall Blanco!

Sweep out the Louisiana Trash!

Honoring A Great American This Day

Friends, in honor of this special day, the History Channel is airing a wonderful documentary on a great American. An American who did more for equality and for justice than perhaps any other. An American who did more not just for Americans generally, but for Black Americans especially, than any other. An American who died tragically at an assassin's hand with his great work only partially complete.

His name was Abraham Lincoln.

Oh, I think people are honoring some other, lesser figure today also.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Well That Didn't Take Long

Lawyer: Teen Shot by Police Is Brain Dead - Yahoo! News

Now, maybe these folks have a family attorney who is just being helpful, but if not...

Why have they already lawyered up 24 hours after their son chose suicide by cop as his way out of this mortal coil?

Could it be because, shocker, they're planning on suing the police?

Newsflash. You point a gun at cops, even one that only looks real, and they're going to shoot you. QED.

Next!

A Gratuitous Photo Of The MediaBlog's Favorite Newshottie



Who else could it be?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A Blogporn Double Feature

To get the full effect of Shania Twain in a lace bodysuit you really do need to shoot for two!
























Wait! Don't leave yet! Check out more of our blogporn! The MediaBlog... Your first stop for snarky commentary and hot women!

What a Cheapskate!

Predictions with George Noory

So second-rate Art Bell wannabe George Noory is doing a predictions show on pay-per-view. Good luck. More power to you. Don't let the anti-Christ hit you in the ass on the way out.

Anyhoo, they're having a little cross-promotional contest. Guess the closing number on the Dow for 1/17 and you win $5k. Sweet.

One little problem. The damn thing is rigged so they have just about a zero chance of giving away the money.

They're not going to put all the entries in a database, pull out all of the ones that hit the number (or come equally close) and then choose one winner. Nope. They're going to choose one finalist first. If that person hits it dead on then we have a winner. If they don't then whoever it is that is sponsoring Noory's contest keeps the dough.

Now, I could buy that if they were giving away $100 million, but for $5K? Geez... If you can't afford to have a REAL contest then don't bother.

PS: I actually like Noory well enough. He's no Art Bell but he does okay. I just don't like the lame-ass contest rules.

Sometimes You're Just In the Mood For a Woman Who Could Break You Like a Twig

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Why Don't You Get Your Ass On The Banana Boat

Belafonte Calls Bush 'Greatest Terrorist' - Yahoo! News

And keep on sailing.

Communist stooge Harry Belafonte visits El Presidente down in Venezuela, calls Dubya a terrorist, makes up "millions" of American supporters and ends his speech by saying "Viva la revolucion!"

Wonder how welcome a has-been celeb would be upon return if he ended his speech with "Sieg Heil!"

Oh, I forgot. Leftist thugs are champions of the people. How silly of me.

Oh, and FYI, Nanners took a union goon from the United Farm Workers along with him. Plus Danny Glover and Cornel West. You know, the usual suspects.

Go ahead and call me a racist, but... Seriously guys, go back to Africa if you hate this place so much.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Why I'm A Hard-Hearted Conservative - Reason 384

"beautiful soulful being" - Google Search

Because I would be insulted if anyone, including my Mom, referred to me as a "beautiful soulful being".

For me at least, that phrase is synonymous with "pussy". To each his own, of course.

The MediaBlog's Favorite Uberhot Girl Next Door


Even Matt Lauer gets a little tongue tied around Julie Bowen!

Friday, January 06, 2006

Testing Performancing

So just what the hell is this thing anyway?

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Our Sense of Decency

leenks.com - Lucy Clarkson (Tomb Raider) Caught Topless in Mallorca

We here at The MediaBlog do NOT post nudity. We like good quality blogporn as much as the next redblooded, heterosexual male but all our hotties are at least arguably clothed.

We do, however, link to nudity with reckless abandon. Enjoy!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

What I Like About Art Bell

Only on Coast to Coast AM can you hear the news that the main stream media is afraid to talk about.

I mean, you won't hear Brian Williams breaking the news that Bono is the Anti-Christ.

You're So Beautiful When You're Ugly


The fact that Jennifer Aniston is still pretty with this expression on her face speaks volumes.

You know, to me the Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie decision is like one of those inkblot tests. I know nothing about either of them, but I think it's basically a hot girl next door vs. wild pagan sexual she-beast sort of thing.

If you want a beautiful, sweet woman you can spend your life with, you go with Jennifer. If you want a woman who can do a full three sixty spin on your dick with a triple flip on the dismount you go with Angelina. Really, it's a no lose sort of thing if you ask me.

My preference? Jennifer. Well, maybe one night with Angelina and then, assuming I survived the experience, Jennifer.

Happy Kwanzaa, My Black Brothers

WorldNetDaily: Kwanzaa: A holiday from the FBI

Now I normally wouldn't give you two sharp, short shits for bombastic, pipecleaner-like windbag shrew Ann Coulter.

All of that being said, she gives the made-up, phoney Kwanzaa "holiday" a bitchslapping it isn't likely to forget.

More Christian Bashing

"South Park" Parked by Complaints - Yahoo! News

And yet again... This time Comedy Central's South Park has an episode where a statue of the Virgin Mary begins bleeding from it's rear end. Turns out that it's no miracle, it's just menstruating! Pope Benedict arrives to investigate and utters the immortal words, "CHicks bleed from their vaginas all the time."

Can you imagine the complete and utter breakdown that would take place if a network, or even a cable channel, ran an episode focused on Mohammad banging the goats? Maybe with a nice long scene of The Prophet's dick thrusting in and out.

WHY IS MY FAITH THE ONLY ONE OPEN TO RIDICULE???

A.D. = After Dave?

Now, NBC has already announced it's plan for the post-Jay (yawn) era. Namely, Conan O'Brien. Cool beans. More power to Conan.

Whither Letterman?

Clearly, Dave isn't going to want to do this forever. Much as I love him, his best days are behind him. Both in terms of quality as well as ratings. For whatever reason, Jay Leno has a broader appeal these days. I don't agree with it, I don't understand it, but I accept it. What will CBS do in the post-Letterman era?

It seems to me that the two most likely replacements are Craig Ferguson and John Stewart. Most likely Stewart. Now, while I sort of like The Daily Show, I just don't know how well Stewart will play at 11:35 on a network. I suspect that his niche won't broaden to middle America.

With that as a starting point, let me suggest two offbeat, off the wall, unlikely possibilities for filling Dave's very ample shoes (yeah, it's an odd expression, but you know what I mean). Neither one of them will get it, but either one would be great. Ready for this? Hold onto your coats and hats:

Bonnie Hunt or Ellen Degeneres

There it is. Talk among yourselves.

Hurricane Katrina Blows

A Year of Sweet Victories

The Nation's Hurricane Katrina Vanden Heuvel catalogs the triumphs of the Left in 2005. Such earthshaking victories as getting New York City to issue taxi medallions to hybrid vehicles and Topeka, Kansas banning descrimination against gays in municipal hiring.

Way to make a silk purse, Miss Heuvel... Miss Vanden Heuvel? What the hell is your last name anyway?

A clever commenter to her catalog of triumph lists the puny Conservative triumphs to stand alongside those electric Priuses and fabulous gay trash collectors in Kansas. To wit:

Chief Justice John Roberts

UN Ambassador John Bolton

Secretary of State Condi Rice

Bush's speeches in November and December

Governor Arnold Schwarzennegar vetoes Gay Marriage Bill and Illegal Drivers License Bill.

The President's and our Military's success in Iraq

Union membership continues its decline and is in a splintered disarray (i.e. Change to Win Coalition split from AFL-CIO)

Economic Numbers are solid

Additional Tax Cuts passed and previous cuts remain in place and more due in 2006

Congress passed and the President signed CAFTA

Any media attention that showcased the leftwing nut jobs like Howard Dean, Cindy Sheehan, Dick Durbin, John Conyers, Cynthia McKinney, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer

Peter Schweizer's expose "Do As I Say (Not As I Do): Profiles in Liberal Hypocrisy

No further intrusions on 2nd Amendment rights by the ACLU and other Communist organizations

Conservatives are poised to move in 2006 with restored energy and enthusiasm for more tax cuts, continued military strength and exansion of the war on terrorism, a challenging battle to increase control of Congress in the Nov 06 elections, and a move towards oil independence through winning the fight to drill in ANWR contrary to the desire of liberals to remain captive to foreign interests.

Yes my liberal/progressive friends, we conservatives are very excited about 2006 and proud to reflect on the successes of 2005.


To which I might add:

The withdraw of the Myers nomination (sometimes Conservative victories come against Republican presidents)

The fact that Plame-gate has become a one day laughing stock.

The rapidly disintegrating "case" against Tom Delay.

The overthrow of the enemy regime in Germany.

The continued faithfulness of our British, Eastern European and Asian allies in Iraq.

Successful elections in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Whenever I Start Thinking...

...that Lifetime is the lowest form of Pussy Power entertainment, we flip past Oxygen and I am reminded just how bad bad can really be.

Starting 2006 Off Right

Okay, props to Lifetime... Poppy Montgomery in a hot, slinky red dress works for me. Not that I have a fricken clue what the movie is about.

Yeah, I'm spending New Year's Eve watching Lifetime movies with the wife. Such is my life. Last year, if you recall, it was the best commercials of 2004 with Kevin Nealand, so things are definitely looking up!

We did flip over for a second to see Dick Clark. And a second is about all we got of him. All I saw was him counting down (with Dick offscreen) and then a quick shot of him sucking face with a woman I'm assuming was his wife. You can clearly tell that he was deeply affected by the stroke though. His speech was very slurred. Makes me sad if you want to know the truth. I guess maybe I'm just barely old enough to appreciate "the great ones"... Dick Clark, Johnny Carson, Regis Philbin... Even David Letterman in a way (since he's today's version of an elder statesman). The Ryan Seacrest's of the world just don't measure up. Nothing against Seacrest who I actually like, it's just not the same. I suppose it never is.

Geez, that's awfully sober and serious for, 1, New Year's Eve and, 2, me.

Hmmm... Something snarky to say...

Am I the only one who thinks Mariah Carey is a fricken moron? No, of course not. How could I be? But geez she came off as an idiot next to Seacrest.

Oh well, let's end the post with a little blogporn Poppy-style: