Thursday, August 30, 2007

Don't Stand So Close To Me

First things first: I carry no brief for Senator Larry Craig. I pay pretty close attention to politics but if three days ago you had asked me to name either senator from Idaho I could not have done so. He has a conservative voting record so I'm politically on his side, but beyond that he means nothing to me. I can judge the political winds as well as the next man and I will say categorically that Larry Craig is toast. Tomorrow, next week... He's gone.

Okay, with that said...

The release of the audio tape of his questioning by the police actually makes him look better in my mind. Not because I think he was taking a dump. I don't. I think he was probably doing precisely what he is accused of doing. I've said before, however, that I don't think this sort of sting is an appropriate use of police officers' time. Arresting people and prosecuting them on the basis of hand gestures seems like a very bad idea to me. When you listen to the recording, it is the police who look silly, not Senator Craig. The officer involved is arguing, and getting quite worked up, about the direction Craig's hand was facing, whether it was his left or his right hand, how long their feet touched. It comes off as very silly, in my opinion.

I am the last person in the world to accuse anyone of homophobia (since I don't even believe in it), but the officer involved in the interrogation does seem to be taking things very personally. Maybe that's a standard police tactic. I honestly don't know. What I do know is that he seems very agitated by the whole thing while Craig seems quite (perhaps too) calm.

I'll also say this in passing. The officer makes a comment, I'm paraphrasing, about how disappointed he is that Senator Craig is lying (his word, not mine). The officer says (again, paraphrasing) that he expects that from someone from "the hood" but not from a man like Senator Craig. Am I the only one who thinks that sounds sort of racist? The hood? I point that out for only one reason... If this were Senator Schumer (D-NY) or Senator Dorgan (D-NY), one thinks that more would be made of that. One suspects that the Democrat political-media Machine would be tarring the officer as a racist and a homophobe.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

In Good Company

Captain's Quarters: What Exactly Is The Crime?

I'm not the only one who isn't entirely sure why the police are spending their time on this sort of thing. I don't usually go for the "that money could be spent on _____" argument, but in this case... Is it really an effective use of the police force to be staking out public restrooms and arresting people for foot tapping and hand gestures?

In the immortal (sort of) words of Mr. Johnnie: If he don't show his winkie he don't go to the clinkie.

Closed Circuit to James Ammons

President Ammons,

Until you can meet payroll each and every time maybe you might think about not wasting FAMU's money on cable TV commercials saying what a great place Florida A&M is.

Just a thought.

But Hey! The Second One Is Free!

Vatican talks of 'eugenics culture’ after abortion of wrong twin -Times Online

So Italian woman discovers she's having twins. Joyous day, wonderful blessing, how swell. She subsequently discovers that one of the two has Down's syndrome. Naturally, she does what every loving mother would do: she calls the doc and tells her to warm up the vacuum. Mother of the Year visits her local socialized clinic, they get the Hoover ready and THWOOMP out comes little reject.

Well, maybe not quite that quickly. I mean, the first piece comes out that quickly. It might be an arm. Hard to tell at this point. Hmm... That looks like a leg. Anyhoo, eventually all of the little second class non-citizen is in the bucket.

Um... Rome, we have a little problem. Turns out we may have sucked out the wrong little sucker. Turns out we scrambled the healthy one. Hmm... Geez... This is awkward. What's a girl to do? Oh well, hook up the attachments and shoot for two.

Of course, Doc isn't taking any responsibility. Her "conscience is clear." Mommy is a little troubled, Having trouble sleeping. One wonders how well she would be sleeping if they'd managed to hit the target on the first pass.

Learn to Read, Read to Learn

We could spend a lot of time talking about how important reading is for your kids' educational futures. It would all be true, but reading isn't just about education. Reading really is fun. I have read all my life and can't imagine not doing so.

I very much hope that The Bloglet will read for pleasure. Of course, if she is going to enjoy reading she has to be a good reader. If she has trouble I'm going to make sure she gets the help she needs. One great way do that is with the Reading Tutors offered through Score Learning Centers.

Find out more about how they can help your child develop a love of reading at the link above.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Maybe He Just Needed Some TP

Sen. Larry Craig's Career Stalls

Stalls... Get it? Stalls???

Okay, so maybe it isn't so easy to make a funny about gay sex in a bathroom. Who knew?

I just finished reading the police report and plea agreement in his case over at The Smoking Gun. Clearly, Larry was up to no good. I mean, most guys I know stare straight ahead in the bathroom and would sooner get something caught in their zipper than play a little footsie under the stall.

That being said, I'm not so sure that this is the sort of conduct the police should be criminalizing. I mean, as solicitation goes it's a fairly vague form, don't you think? We're not talking about a guy offering money for sex in a restroom at a public park. I'm all for prosecuting that. I'm all for prosecuting people for actually having sex in public restrooms. I'm all for police passing through public restrooms every now and again to discourage this sort of behavior. I just don't know that I think Craig's conduct up to the point where he was taken into custody necessarily warrants an arrest. While it clearly wasn't innocuous, a lot of it could be innocuous.

At any rate, I won't be losing a lot of sleep over Senator Craig personally. I'll forgive a lot of things if you have a solid conservative voting record but buggery in the bathroom ain't one of them.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Long Goodbye


Alzheimer's is a very cruel disease. It is cruel to those who suffer from it, but also cruel to the families who suffer along with those who actually have the disease. It is an incredibly painful thing to have to watch as day after day, faces that always lit up when you walked into the room, grow distant. My grandfather suffered from Alzheimers and it was painful for all of us as his awareness gradually faded. Of course, the pain for him was surely even worse as, on the good days, he was completely aware of what was happening to him.

Thankfully, we don't have to just accept this cruel disease. Millions of Americans are fighting for a cure and you can be one of them. The Memory Walk is a chance to raise money and raise awareness. Events are being held around the country and the odds are that one of them is probably right around the corner from you. It's coming soon so now is the time to sign up and take part.


The Alzheimer's Association is working hard to make this terrible disease a thing of the past. Won't you take part? Won't you take a step? Join with the Alzheimer's Association today.







Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Anchorwoman

See, here's the thing... When you've already got Stormy the Weather Dog you've pretty much already announced that you're not Edward R. Murrow on the Texas plains.

Yeah, she's a beauty queen who can't read. Small markets are filled with newspeople who can't read... I speak from painful viewing experiences... At least this one is attractive.

What I really think is stupid about this show, other than the ENTIRE THING, is that these small market newsies take themselves so very, very seriously. Annalisa, you need to realize that nobody takes small market local news seriously. Lauren ain't making things worse... She couldn't.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Readin, Writin and Rithmatic

Do you want your kids to get good jobs?

Of course you do. I mean, maybe you want them to live in the basement when they're 40, but most of us don't. We want to know they'll be able to provide for themselves and stand on their own two feet.

A lot of the good jobs, both today and tomorrow, require a solid foundation in mathematics. Engineers, scientists, programmers... All of this has a strong math basis. If your kids fall behind, they are going to have trouble.

If you see that your kids are struggling, you need to act quickly. One option is to start looking for a tutor like the great Math Tutors you can find at a Score Learning Center. They can help your kids stay on track!

My Weekend Mornings Just Aren't the Same



So they've got Amy Robach taking Campbell's place (a least temporarily) on Weekend Today. There's no question that Amy's hot. Incredibly so. Still, her hotness is somehow "colder" than Campbell's. She's less friendly, less flirtatious in some way. Yeah, square inch for square inch she's probably better looking than Campbell but it just isn't the same.

Maybe she'll loosen up with time.

(Yeah, I know. Get a life. Same goes for you, buddy. You probably got here because you searched for her name.)

Saturday, August 18, 2007

That One Computer Must Be Pissed At The Big Easy

They Are Lying To You

N.C. waitress applauds minimum wage hike - Yahoo! News

So the Democrats had a North Carolina waitress deliver their weekly radio address. As someone who works for minimum wage, she talked about how great it is that the Democrats raised the failure minimum wage to help these Americans who have lost life's lottery.

Bollocks.

Isn't it amazing that the Democrats just happened to find this little waitress who is living paycheck to paycheck? Isn't it great that they managed to lift her up as a symbol of America's working poor? Just swell.

Strangely enough, about a month ago the AP also found this woman and quoted her in the lead of their article about the minimum wage increase. I guess an AP reporter must have stopped at the diner she works at for a quick cup of joe. He was inspired by her inspiring story of working hard for a wage that most people consider a starting point rather than the finish line.

How strange that the AP writer and the Democrats should both have found this one waitress. Amazing, huh?

Again, bollocks.

The waitress in question, Fawn Townsend, is a member of a group called ACORN. ACORN is an international organization campaigning for "social and economic justice." In other words, Fawn is an activist.

Now that's fine. I have no problem with that at all. If I wanted to be a jerk I might say that if she spent less time on activism and more time on finding a better job she might not be making minimum wage. If I wanted to be a jerk I might say that. However, I don't want to be a jerk so I won't say any of that. What I'll say instead is that the AP needs to identify the people it quotes a little better. If it wants to quote from people who work with advocacy groups... People who are also quoted on said advocacy groups homepages... It needs to be a little more forthright about how it identifies them.

This means you, Jesse J. Holland. All it took was a Google search.

There's Hope

For some people, diet and exercise are only going to be part of the solution to their weight problem. These folks, try as hard as they might, are going to need a little extra help. You've probably heard of stomach stapling. It's a surgical procedure that essentially closes off a portion of the stomach so you feel full faster. It's definitely an invasive procedure and it carries some risks. Maybe it's right for you, but there are also some other, less extreme options.

For a lot of people, lap-band surgery may be a much better option. Instead of the big incision from stapling, this process allows for a much smaller incision. A band is placed around the stomach to shrink it. It's faster, there's less discomfort and there may be a quicker recovery.

Obviously, whatever decisions you make should be made in consultation with your doctor, but the link above will let you find more information about this exciting new procedure.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

A Prick By Any Other Name

WorldNetDaily: Bishop urges Christians to call God 'Allah'

Dutch Catholic Bishop Tiny Muskens encouraged Christians to call God "Allah" in order to ease tensions with Muslims (who, for the record, hadn't asked).

Okay, Tiny. Sounds good. We can also call you Dickwad. Your little town of Breda we'll call Crotchrot. How about we use Crack Whore for your syphilitic slut of a mother .

Ahh... That eased a lot of my tension.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Kevin Arnold Was a Fracking Moron

You know, it's probably both wrong and stupid to spend any time at all questioning the relationship choices of a fictional 14 year old kid.

That being said, Kevin Arnold (The Wonder Years) is a horse's ass. He spent the entirety of his teen years mooning over Winnie Cooper when Madeline... Sexy, French-speaking Madeline... Was practically throwing herself at him. Winnie with her stupid bangs and Moon Pie face couldn't hold a candle to Madeline's plucked brows and short skirts. Now, this may have had something to do with the fact that Julie Condra, the actress who portrayed Madeline, was 21 years old at the time while Danica McKellar was only 16.

Of course, since Danica is still fugly, maybe not.

Anyhoo, you screwed up, Scroat. Yeah, you banged Winnie in the barn a few years later, but Madeline was ready to usher you into paradise much earlier. Ready, willing and able!

Just so you'll know what I've wasted time and space on, here are a couple of before and after shots of the hottie Kevin spurned:

Teach Your Children Early

It is NEVER too early to start teaching kids about money. One of the gravest mistakes a parent can make is to neglect a child's financial education. I mean, what's the point in making sure they do well in school so they can get a great job if you're not going to give them the tools to make sure they can spend what they earn wisely and well?

The link above will take you to a site that can give you a lot of good information that will help your kids get off on the right foot.

It's Always About the Money

ABC News: Rutgers Player Sues Imus, NBC, CBS

What a shocker... The day that Imus settles with CBS, one of the nappy headed hos files suit. You think maybe this might have had something to do with a publicity seeking shyster who knew that they'd get more press if they held the suit until the I-man was back in the news?

Not that this is a surprise, of course. As the Rutgers coach's financial spiritual adviser pointed out months ago, this called for restitution

Monday, August 13, 2007

You Mean You Can Park Cars in There?

Not in my garage you can't. It is so piled up with stuff that you'd be lucky to get a toy car in, much less the real thing. That's why I would LOVE to have some place to store all of the junk that i have out there. Well, the 10% that I don't need to throw away anyway. What I really need are some stainless steel cabinets to line the walls. They would hold my stuff, they would look outstanding and, as a bonus, they'd let me actually put a car in the garage!

Wishful Thinking

Author: Rove exit signals 'end of Bush presidency' - CNN.com

You know how you can tell when you have a lazy partisan hack rather than a journalist? Look for the word "some." As in, "some suggest" or "some are saying." What that really means is "I want to make a point about something. I want to express my opinion. I'm sure there are other folks out there who agree with me so I get to write an opinion peace and sell it as reporting."

That's what you get from beginning to end in this piece. Since Karl Rove obviously did Dubya's thinking for him, now that he's leaving the Bush presidency is over. To make the point, they turn to the co-author of a Rove hit piece, a book they identify as "The Architect." Now, the full title of the book was "The Architect: Karl Rove and the Dream of Absolute Power." Of course, if they gave the full title of the book you would realize that the source of this opinion isn't some unbiased political scholar but a definite partisan who is also the co-author of "Rove Exposed: How Bush's Brain Fooled America."

Oh well... I'm sure Karl will be fine. He'll probably be hosting a network Sunday morning talk show shortly. You know, just like Stephanopoulos.

Dammit... Where is that SARCASM tag when you need it?

The Shyster... Classy As Always

John Edwards for President-Edwards Statement on the Resignation of Karl Rove

Didn't they teach him better manners than that during his pageant days?

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Is it Coo-pon or Cue-pon???

Whatever you call it, however you pronounce it, everybody loves a Coupon. It's all about getting a good bargain, right?

In the good old days of internet retailing everyone was offering great discounts to get you to try their site. Sadly, those days are gone.

Well, not so fast! Webbyplanet is a great place to find great deals. They provide you with the tools and the tips you need to get the right product at the right price. You can find out more about them and more about the great coupons and discounts they can lead you to by clicking on the link above.

Friday, August 10, 2007

The MediaBlog Line of the Day

You know what organic means.
Feces.

Rush Limbaugh
8/10/2007

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Damn You LBJ!!!

Potential Flaw Is Found in Design of Fallen Bridge - New York Times

Turns out that the collapsed bridge in Minnesota may have had a design flaw that led to its collapse.

Hmmm... The bridge was designed in 1964.
Who was President in 1964?
Lyndon Johnson

The bridge was completed in 1967.
Who was President in 1967?
Lyndon Johnson

Clearly Lyndon Fracking Johnson was responsible for this tragedy. The seeds of this disaster were planted on his watch. You have blood on your hands, Mr. President! More blood!

Stupid, huh? Yeah, I agree. Not like the President of the United States was poring over bridge plans. About as dumb as saying that it was Dubya's fault.

The Fundamentals

There's something amazing about having children.

Their minds are like little sponges, just so ready to soak up whatever instruction you give them. Those early years are so important. You cannot overstate how important it is to give your kids a good start. If they don't learn the important things when they are young, reading, math and so forth, they won't have the solid foundation they need in order to keep growing and developing.

If your kids are having trouble, you want to make sure they get help just as quickly as possible. An Innovative Tutor from Score is a great way to make sure your little ones get the help they need in order to succeed.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Handicapping the 2007-2008 Season - Part Deux

Show: Kid Nation
Network: CBS
Star(s): Sniveling Brats
Episodes Aired Prior to Cancellation: N/A

Okay, this will probably make it a full season. That doesn't mean it will be good though. I can tell you without ever watching a single episode what this show will be like. It will be a heartwarming leftist wank-fest. The little cherubs will overcome all the prejudice, greed and hate that we evil adults bring into the world and create some sort of socialist utopia where the strong protect the weak, everyone shares and the lion lays down with the lamb.

Why? Because if it turns into the frigging Lord of the Flies then only sick SOBs like me will actually enjoy it.

Halloween Comes Early This Year

There's nothing like a bone chilling horror movie.

Yeah, sometimes you want something light, sometimes you want something happy and sweet, but there are also times when you want to have the dickens scared out of you. Few horror movie series can live up to the Halloween movies for raw terror.

Things are only going to get more chilling with the latest incarnation of the classic series. Halloween the movie is coming out in just a few weeks (August 31st) and this time around it is a reimagining of the series from the very twisted mind of Rob Zombie.

The Halloween series has always been great, but I think that Halloween the movie as recreated by Rob Zombie can only make things even more blood-curdling. I mean, the series has been around for two decades so it is due for some updating. That isn't anything against the earlier movies, but even the classics deserve to be brought up to date every so often. I think that's exactly what Rob Zombie is going to pull off.

One of my favorite horror films was Blair Witch. Walking across a dark parking lot to my car after that last scene left me genuinely terrified. Having seen the trailer for the new Halloween film, I can honestly say that I'm ready to be just as terrified. Here's the trailer:



So, get ready to scream!



Vee Have Vays of Making You Poop!

Cops force thief to eat 40 bananas | Mercury - The Voice of Tasmania

Thief steals gold necklace.
Thief swallows gold necklace.
Police force-feed thief bananas (and the Dems thought Rummy was bad!).
Thief retains necklace.

And, in what has to be the oddest-yet-most-evil-sounding line of the day:

“We will have to look for other stronger purgatives now,” the yawning police officer added.

Monday, August 06, 2007

StarCraft

I'm a big fan of really detailed games. Games that you are so intricate that you're not going to tire of them after one evening of play. You won't find many games that fit that definition better than starcraft. It is the kind of game that you can play again and again and never lose interest.

If you're a Starcraft or Starcraft II fan, or if you just want to learn more about the game, then you should pay a visit to CreepColony.com It is a tremendous fan site that will let you learn more than you would have thought possible about these great games. You can get there by clicking on the link above.

Some Of The News That's Fit To Print

Can I be the first to say that I really don't like the new size of The New York Times?

It just doesn't look right.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

The Ties That Bind

I'm very particular about neckties. I don't really like solid colors, but I also don't like really busy patterns that are annoying. I also don't like "gimmick" neckties. I want something stylish and classy that fits my style.

Belisi offers lots of great ties to fit every style and taste. The prices are right for the kind of quality and style that you are going to find. I don't mind paying a fair price for a quality necktie and that's what you will find at Belisi Fashions Jupiter, FL.

They don't stop with ties. Along with pocket squares for the gentlemen, they have numerous items for the ladies like handbags and scarves.

You can find out more at any of the links above.



I Now Announce the End of My Boycott of Esurance

News: Who Is Esurance, and What Does It Want With Seattle's Young and Dangerous? (Seattle Weekly)

Turns out the company's mucketys financed the Swift Boaters campaign against Lurch.

I can forgive a little eco-nut camouflage if they are Righties at heart.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Glenn Beck: The Journey Toward Madness Continues

Glenn Beck took another big step toward insanity today, joining those who go on and on (and on and on and on and on and on and on and on) about all the amazing things you can do with hemp. You can make rope and clothes and carpet and...

Bedroom Furniture

I am a desk man.

Some people like beds, some people like end tables or recliners, some people like china cabinets, sofas or love seats. Me? I like desks. To be honest, most of my desks, whether at home or in the office, have been high on functional and fairly low on ornamental. Sometime in my life I would love to have a big, heavy desk. There's something classy and manly about it, I think. Like this one:



See? Isn't that a fabulous looking piece of furniture? Gallery Furniture has this piece plus a whole lot more. Office furniture, entertainment centers, dining room sets, living room or, as the title says, bedroom furniture. Whatever it is for your home or office, Gallery Furniture is a
furniture store that has it all. They are your first, best stop for Houston furniture.

So, whether your just bought a new place and have a bunch of empty rooms that need to be filled or you already have your home established but are looking to change things around a bit with some new items, Gallery Furniture has everything you need to turn a house into a home. You can check them out using any of the links found above.




Thursday, August 02, 2007

No Confidence

3% of Americans Approve of Congress' Handling of War in Iraq

Why isn't the media trumpeting this?

Oh... Of course. Silly me.

Handicapping the 2007-2008 Season

Friends, we welcome you to what we plan to have as a recurring feature. I will examine new shows for the upcoming TV season and, based solely on the promos, I will tell you how badly they will suck.

Let us begin...

Show: Cane
Network: CBS
Star(s): Jimmy Smits
Episodes Aired Prior to Cancellation: 6

Think Dallas but with sugar cane instead of oil and Hispanics. Throw in a little Goodfellas-type action and you have Cane. I think we all know that America has been itching for a story about the hidden world of sugar production. The intrigue, the drama, the cavities.

Six episodes at the outside. They'll burn the rest off either on CBS.com or later in the season.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I Swear By The Living God...

...if that fracking strapless bra wins my George Foreman grill is going in the garbage can!