Wednesday, April 30, 2008

At Least They Have Their Priorities

newsjournalonline.com: Abortion Ultrasound Bill Fails in Senate

Banning Truck Nuts? Check
Making sure women seeking abortions realize what they are about to do? Nah

It's Official: I No Longer Give A Crap

With the departure of Brooke White from American Idol (suck on it, Pacific Time Zone), I now officially do not give two sharp short shits about the results of this year's American Idol.

She was the only attractive one and now she's gone and we're left with the little Puerto Rican judge who's always drunk.

Speaking of which... Was she on crack last night? More so than usual, I mean.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

One Note Andy: Maybe Buggery Causes Dementia

What else could explain it?

One Note Andy Sullivan has made his picks for 2008: Barack Obama and Ron Paul.

Um... Okay, where to begin? We can either have a lightweight whose chief qualification is skin deep or an unrealistic radical who wants the entire nation to run back to bed and pull the covers over its head.

I have said before, over on the other blog, that all One Note Andy really cares about is finding people who will endorse his perversion. Of course, any of the Dems are game for that. As far as Dr. Paul is concerned, I guess the whole libertarian thing reassures One Note. That's fine. Whatever. Personally, I don't think sending the world to hell in a handbasket is a fair trade for a little kinky sex.

But maybe that's just me.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Roger Ailes is a Very Lucky Man



If you read much around here you know that we're not big fans of Fox News' Julie Banderas. She may have succeeded our favorite Amazon goddess Laurie Dhue on the weekend edition of the Fox Report, but she could never replace her. Combine that with the fact that she's a teleprompter misreading idiot and you pretty much know what we think of her.

That being said, she does have really great hair and looks hot in a gown. Besides, put her next to the gorgeous Megyn Kelly and you've got a 2/3 of a fabulous Fox sandwich. All you need is a little MediaBlogger in between these two slices of oh so tasty bread.

Seriously... These two, arm around each other... If this isn't the opening scene in some sort of news junkie fantasy porno flick then what else could it be? All I can say is that someday, when The MediaBlog is a global media empire ala News Corp then these two are going to be lured over from Fox with the promises of a 7 figure salary. I wonder if they will mind that rather than wasting their talents on air they'll probably be spending their days sitting on opposite corners of my desk with their legs crossed?

Amy is Back

Our Miss Amy looked like an angel yesterday. A vision in white.

We don't begrudge our Goddess a day off, but even so. After last week's Jenna Wolfe double feature we were very glad to see Amy back again on her rightful throne.

Okay, enough chatter... Here you go...





A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That

Kalamazoo, Michigan... Hello...

Hillary Pimps Out Chelsea Again

Only this time it is for the love that dare not speak its name. Chelsea worked her way through Philadelphia's gay bars to stir up votes for dear old mom. They hugged her, they hooted, they smacked her on the ass. I guess it worked since Old Thunder Thighs won Pennsylvania by nearly ten points. Still, you've got to love anybody who is willing to whore out her daughter among the Sodomites. Way to go Lot... I mean, Hillary.

Jesus Loves Me So Get Off My Ass!

Fresh off it's defeat of the scourge on our highways, Truck Nuts, the Florida Legislature is now pressing on with another issue that has been first in the minds of most Floridians: Christian license plates. Look, I'm a Baptist. I'll put my Christian bona fides up against just about anyone else. Okay, maybe not the Pope or Billy Graham but other than that... Still, I'm not sure the State of Florida should do this. Not because I think it would be unconstitutional to do so. I don't think it would be. I think it's a bad idea because I don't want to see a Honk for Allah plate. If you permit one for Christians I don't see how you avoid granting the same permission to other faiths.

Get Your Gear On

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Take a moment to check them out by clicking on the link above!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

It Must Be Said

Paula Abdul is judging a singing contest. Yeah, I know we're on year 9 of this or whatever, but some things are so surreal that they have to be mentioned from time to time. She's sitting there in a stupor of some sort and telling people who sing better than she ever thought about singing what they did wrong. I mean, come on!

She thinks Brooke White shouldn't have stopped in the middle? Girlfriend, you shouldn't have started in the first place! You danced with a cartoon cat for God's sake!

Okay, better now. Thanks.

Monday, April 21, 2008

And How Many People Will This Save?

Small Church's Obama Sign Causes Big Controversy - Greenville News Story - WYFF Greenville

Pastor Roger Byrd of Jonesville Church of God in Jonesville, South Carolina wanted something a little different for the church sign. He wasn't satisfied with announcing the dates for VBS or maybe something cute like, "Sign broken, message inside." No, Pastor Byrd decided that he'd like to take a different route:



Way to go, Pastor. That's going to get a whole lot of people into the Kingdom, isn't it? Someday each of us, as Christians, is going to stand before God and be asked to account for what we have been given. Did we share it with others or did we pass up on opportunities to do so. Each of us will have had a thousand missed opportunities. Pastor Byrd and his unanimous congregation now has 1001.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Long Time Gone

Friends, we haven't done right by you.

It's been weeks since we gave you any blogporn. We know you have needs. God knows we understand that. We're only human, right? If you prick us... Ahem... Okay, probably a poor choice of words. Still, we understand. We've let you down but we're here to make it all better. Ike's sorry, baby! Ike's sorry!

Anyhoo, we're going to give you a double feature today. Something new and something tried and true. We'll start out with a few select shots of British bobsledder Caroline Pearce...






See? We know what you like. And, now, let's finish up with a shot of one of our favorite news hotties, Megyn Kelly. Here we see the lovely Miss Megyn at some banquet in DC. I can't remember which. I don't even care. All I know is that our Miss Megyn looks hot as usual and that she seems to be focusing rather intently on her plate as Senator Arlen Specter tries to lay into her with a little of that Keystone State charm. Give it up, Arlen. There's no magic bullet that's going to get you where you want to go.

Bushes and Shrubs

Texas... The Alamo, cattle ranches, oil wells... That is probably what you picture when you think about the Lone Star State. Well, like everything else, there is an element of truth to that. Still, Texas is a great, big state and there is a lot more to do and see than just that. For example, if you enjoy quiet, tranquil walks through beautiful gardens of native plants... If you are one who likes to take in the beauty of nature... If you enjoy displays of both flora and fauna, then you are in luck because that is Texas too!

For example, there is the beautiful town of Orange, Texas. Orange features the Shangri La Gardens and Nature Center. This beautiful place features amazing plants and wildlife exhibits that you can tour and enjoy. What is best of all, Shangri La Gardens and Nature Center is a "green" facility which is built to the highest environmental standards to guarantee that it not only displays nature's beauty but protects it as well. Constructed on over two hundred fifty acres, the Gardens were developed over 60 years ago and are still thriving today.

And this is not the sort of place where you just walk by and look. Shangri La Gardens also features the Nature Discovery Center. This is a hands-on exhibit where you and your family can get close to nature and learn more while having a great time. There is also a theater, a children's garden specially designed for the little ones, and much, much more to see and enjoy.

Get away to paradise today. Visit a spot of natural beauty in the heart of Texas. Check out the Shangri La Gardens and Nature Center by clicking on the link above. You will not be disappointed by this Texas-sized spot of paradise.






Friday, April 18, 2008

Taking The Fight To Them

I've told you again and again that the monkeys have declared war on us. Apparently this ball of mud isn't big enough for the both of us and they've decided to come down out of the trees and start kicking some human arse. Up until now, we've just been sitting here and taking it... They murdered an Indian politician for God's sake and what did we do? Nothing. We just keep on watching "BJ and the Bear" and laughing.

Okay, so it isn't on anywhere and nobody really laughed much when it was. It's a metaphor for inaction, dammit! Look, I'm trying to make a point here about the danger we're in and all you can do is nitpick. Geez, why am I wasting my time on you people? Let the monkeys bitch slap your wife for all I care. Don't say I didn't warn you.

No. No, that's petty of me. Just because you're a prick doesn't mean I should leave you to die. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to be better than you, you miserable sack of... Sigh... Sorry, I'm just a little tense right now. The thought of teaming hordes of chimps pounding on my windows, carrying my wife and child back to their heathen monkey lair does that to me, you know? It gets to you.

Okay. Pull it together, man.

So, here's the thing... At last we're starting to take the fight to those simian bastards!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Too Little, Too Late

Romney's Top 10 reasons why he dropped out - 2008 Presidential Campaign Blog - Political Intelligence - Boston.com

Who knew Mitt Romney could be funny?

All Is Well In Florida

Aw, nutz! - Weird News - Tampa Bays Local News

I mean, it must be, right?

They've sorted out the whole homeowners insurance thing. They managed to fix the property tax mess. They even managed to balance the budget and preserve vital services.

I mean, they have to have pretty much accomplished everything, right? Otherwise why would the Florida Senate have spent even five minutes out of the 60 days of the legislative session debating a bill to make it a traffic violation to have truck nutz hanging off your bumper. What are truck nutz, you ask? Why they're representations of a bull scrotum hanging down and swinging in the breeze:


And the penalty for this grave offense? A $60 fine and points.

You know, people think Congress is full of idiots. If they actually paid attention to the morons who serve in their state legislatures they would realize that by comparison the average Congress Critter might as well be Thomas Fracking Jefferson.

We here at The MediaBlog are unafraid of naming names. Who is it that is wasting the time and money of the people of the state of Florida with this tripe? It is Sen. Carey Baker, R-Eustis.

Congratulations, Senator Baker, you are the official MediaBlog numb nuts of the day.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Draw!

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Find out more by clicking on the link above.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Searching For A Story

Nation & World | Student flunks government text | Seattle Times Newspaper

You know, a whole bunch of trees are going to die in order to print this story from Nancy Zuckerbrod of the Associated Press.

They died in vain.

The story is about a kid who feels like a lot of the things in his AP government textbook are incorrect. He has complained and the publisher has responded with a promise to review the book.

Gosh! Now THAT'S news! Smart-assed kid thinks he knows more than the college professors who wrote his textbook. Publisher blows off said smart-ass by letting him know that they'll look into it. Yep. Look into it. Given it all the attention it's due. Get right on that. Yawn.

Wait. This is the Associated Press. Surely there must be a reason for the article. Surely Nancy Zuckerbrod's keen news nose couldn't be wrong. What's the scoop? What's the angle?

Well, let's see. AP government... Smart-assed kid... Publisher... Textbook written by former Bush Administration official and Ronald Reagan Professor of Public Policy... Kearney High School... Wait! What was that? Bush Administration? Ronald Reagan Professor???

Ah! Of course. It's so obvious! Nancy Zuckerbrod! How could we doubt you? It was a chance to get a little dig in at conservatives based on the allegations of a teenager. And here I was thinking this wasn't a serious new story. How silly of me. How very, very silly.

And I'm sure Nancy Zuckerbrod included several specific quotations from the text to establish just how wrong-headed this so-called "book" is and how wise and bright your Mr. Smart-Ass is. Of course. Like for example right here where it says... No, that's not it. Or maybe... Um... Hmm... Is there a second page to it? Huh... Weird.

Gosh... I don't know what to think now. Is this just a political hatchet job? Say it ain't so, Nancy Zuckerbrod. Say it ain't so!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Your Mum

You know, as a guy, it would be easy for me to be a little petty about mother’s day. I mean, what's that old statistic everyone has heard? Mother's Day has the most calls home and Father's Day has the most collect calls home? Not sure if it is literally true, but there's certainly an underlying truth there. Compared to Mother's Day, Fathers' Day might as well be the Tuesday after Arbor Day.

Still, it's hard to be too cynical about the whole thing. I mean, we all love our mom, right? It's important that you make a big deal for the woman who brought you into this world. Nice dinner, maybe some candy. Flowers? Naturally. That's what we do for Momma MediaBlog.

The link above will take you to 1-800 Flowers where you can find some great deals on flowers that will make your mom smile this Mother's Day. Whether your mom is across the hall or across the country, 1-800 Flowers can make sure she feels special this Mother's Day.

While you are there, make sure that you take a few moments to check out their Check Out Mom for Who She Is contest. You've got a great opportunity to win some fabulous prizes.



Thursday, April 10, 2008

See Here's The Thing

"Eli Stone" (2008)

I like this show. I swear to God I honestly do.

That being said, does it have to be a Lefty wankfest every fracking week? I mean Sweet Jesus! This week we had a sadistic warden abusing sweet, innocent, decent prisoners as plot A and a couple of queer chimps as plot B.

Hows about we have just one case where the protagonist is a conservative who we sympathize with. Isn't that just maybe the slightest bit possible? Just once? I'm asking.

Oh, and they can write Katey Sagal out immediately. Her character is annoying and unneeded. Send the bitch back to London.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

I Guess They Can Pry It Loose Now



Charlton Heston was one of my favorites. I'm a sucker for "big" actors and "big" movies and that was the Heston hallmark. Yeah, later on he did some shlocky disaster movies. He even did a Dynasty spinoff. Who cares? Nobody is going to remember that. They're going to remember the chariot scene. They're going to remember "Let my people go!" Hell, they're going to remember the Statue of Liberty buried in the sand. It doesn't get much bigger than that.

Good-bye, Mr. Heston. Next time we hear thunder we'll know that God took you out for a little target practice

Saturday, April 05, 2008

BSG Is Back!

Yes, dear friends, after months and months in the dark, Battlestar Galactica is FINALLY back on SciFi. And let me tell you it is fracking awesome!

We pick up pretty much exactly where we left off last season (which seems like decades ago) with Starbuck right off Apollo's wing. She's been to earth and she knows the way. Creepy, huh? Combine that with a "what-the-frack-was-that" vision from Colonel Tigh and we are rolling.

BSG is the best thing on TV. If it were on a network it would probably get about a 1.2 in the ratings and would be canceled after four episodes. They'd dump the rest on the website and people would end up mailing... I don't know... Cucumbers to the net in the hope of getting it back on the air. Thank God for SciFi!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

We Get Fox News, They Get Everything Else

So I'm catching up on my Eli Stones.

It's a good show. It's not Battlestar Galactica, but it ain't bad. It's from the guy who brought you Everwood and you can hardly say better than that. Anyhoo... It is showing a regrettable tendency toward embracing the Leftist cause cf the week. This week it was abstinence education as vilified by none other than George "Doing It in the Public Loo" Michael. Imagine... Telling kids to keep it zipped... The bastards.

Here's the thing... It's a good show. For that matter, Boston Legal is a good show. It's got The Shat for God's sake! Still, one wonders why Hollywood believes that a lot of us want to have this kind of thing crammed down our throats on a weekly basis. They could at least be subtle about it. I wouldn't mind if they had a flaming liberal character. What bothers me is that these shows present the people who are on the Left as reasonable and everyone else as intolerant, closed-minded, fanatical, stupid... You get the idea.

Can anyone name for me a network television program that regularly presents a conservative agenda? How about irregularly?

Baboon Blitzkrieg? Mechanized Monkeys?

Little monkeys ride tiny motorcycles - Boing Boing

We've warned you before about the impending threat of an ape uprising. Now there is even more evidence that the revolution is upon us. The little bastards have gone motorized. They'll swoop down on us before we even know what is happening.

Meanwhile, Glenn Beck keeps worrying about the Federal Reserve. Open your eyes, Glenn. The real threat is in the trees!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Throw Us A Bone Here, Glitter Gal

Here's the thing about this year's Spring edition of Big Brother... Yeah, the casting pretty much sucks but we're used to that... No, the problem is that our favorite glitter gal, Julie Chen, is not dressing for success this time around. Oh she's tres fashionable, no question about that, but where are the legs? Where are the ta-tas? Come on, Jules! We put up with this crappy show because we know that once a week we get to watch you cross those glittery legs while you have the lab rats... I mean houseguests... Hang from their nipples as they compete for a private room and a bag of Cheetos. You don't think we tune in for the human drama, do you?

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

It's Just So Darn Realistic

Tonight on CSI: Miami... The entire nation of Brazil shows up within the span of 30 seconds and tries to kill Horatio Caine. There are sports cars and motorbikes and lots of gunplay. It's FAN-tastic!

This show becomes more and more like a (bad) comic book every week. The CSI franchise is sort of like the Goldilock's story...

CSI: NY? Too dull
CSI: Miami? Too stupid
CSI: Original Recipe? Just right