Saturday, January 31, 2009

Ignorance Is Bliss

I think I've said something like this before, but...

I got up this morning and turned on the Tivo to watch Today. You know, my usual Saturday routine. A couple of hours at the Temple of Amy (don't like the blouse, Miss Amy, but the heels... oh the heels...). We start off with the top of the news, of course, which is all about the economy.

Now, here's the thing. I'm not saying a lot of people aren't feeling the pain right now. I know they are. If you're not one of them, though, would you really know that we were having this terrible, nightmarish, worst since the 1930s recession if the talking heads didn't tell you that?

And, for that matter, would you care? Yeah, if your brother in law gets laid off you feel bad for him, but unless you lose your job, do you really care? Care in the sense of worry and fear and panic? Probably not.

Now, I'm not saying that you're better off not knowing what is going on. Well... Yeah, actually that is what I'm saying. News that you can actually act on is useful, news that you can't do anything about is just voyeurism. But you can do something, you tell me! You can save instead of spending. True. And you should have been doing that whether we were on the edge of soup kitchens or not. I do.

I don't know. I just think that to some extent the constant drumbeat if economic pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Fracking Awesome

I'm pretty sure I've already made my feelings clear, but if not...

Way back when, before the Battlestar Galactica reboot first came on air, I said some negative things about having a female Starbuck. I hereby take back every fracking word of it.

After watching her plug two men on the flight deck, there ain't no other way to say it:

Girlfriend is bad ass!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Oink Oink Oink

Education chief: Schools crucial to recovery - Yahoo! News

Don't kid yourselves, folks. The pigs are at the trough and they're about to drown in all the slop. I could make a suckling at the teet metaphor if you'd prefer. Either way, this "stimulus" package is NOTHING more than interest group payback from the Dems. Or maybe it's the Lefties first chance to cream their pants in God only knows how long.

"Stimulus" is to 2009 as "defense" was to 1957. Back when we liked Ike, the surest way to get your pet project passed was to figure out some way for it to be tangentially related to national defense. Want to fight the Soviets? Build a highway. Want to strike a blow against godless communism? Pass the National Defense Education Act.

Today, it's all about stimulating the economy. That's why The Dear Leader's basketball buddy, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan is trying to convince you that "if we want to stimulate the economy, we need a better-educated workforce."

Newsflash, Arne... The recession is going to be over in six months or a year or however long. By the time your $140 billion gets to the teacher's union... Sorry... To the children, the economy will be chugging along again.

If you want more federal money for schools then fine, whatever. But don't give us some cock and bull story about stimulating the economy. The Secretary of Education should not be insulting our intelligence.

Chosen People My Ass

Bacon Explosion: The BBQ Sausage Recipe of all Recipes

If Yahweh loved them that much, He wouldn't have denied them this!

Don't Leave Home Without It

When I was in college I was broke. Like ketchup soup broke. Between books, tuition, rent... Let's just say there wasn't much left over for fun... Or gas... Or pretty much anything else.

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And that's just the beginning. You are going to find literally thousands of discounts from all your favorite retailers.

Not a student? Don't worry, they've got a card for you too. Anyone who is under 26 can qualify for discounts with the International Youth Travel Card (IYTC). Even educators qualify no matter what their age. They can get the International Teacher Identity Card (ITIC). Three different cards for three different groups but all with great deals.

If you fall into any of these categories then you can take advantage of these great deals for only $22 per year. When you think about the discounts you're getting you realize that this is an amazing deal.

Want more information? Want to get your own card? Click on the link above to learn more!



Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Liz Sidoti: Liar

House OKs $819B stimulus bill in win for Obama - Yahoo! News

The AP's Liz Sidoti is a liar.

Or she might be an idiot.

Or maybe she's just careless.

Either way, her fawning piece on the passage of the House "stimulus" package is riddled with falsehoods/errors. Would you like a for instance?

With unemployment at its highest level in a quarter-century...

The most recent unemployment figures were the December numbers which showed an unemployment rate of 7.2%. The last time unemployment was at that level was January of 1993 at the beginning of President Clinton's first term. Now, while a lot of water has gone under the bridge since then, 1993-2008 isn't a quarter century. It's 15 years. Isn't it that kind of math that got us into this mess in the first place.

Up for another? Hows about this...

...designed to aid victims of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression of the 1930s.

By what criteria, Ms. Sidoti? Other than repeating the cliche you've heard for months, by what criteria is this the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression? Saying it over and over (and over and over and over) again doesn't make it true. Besides, your guy got elected, aren't you supposed to be talking about how rosy everything is now.

Monday, January 26, 2009


Orlando is an incredible city to visit. If you think it's nothing but The Mouse then you really do not know the half of it. My family lives in North Florida so it is an easy drive, just a few hours. Because it is such an easy trip, because it is so family friendly and because there is so much to do, Orlando is our favorite vacation spot.

If you have a trip to Orlando planed then can I make a suggestion? You definitely want to take in the Grossology Exhibit - Orlando Science Center. What is Grossology? Click the link and find out. In a nutshell, Grossology is based on a bestselling book series by Silvia Branzei. It teaches science to kids (and maybe not just kids) by letting them learn about the ooey, gooey, icky things that kids just love. Snot and gas and so much more. If it gives you the creeps then it will be there. Your kids will have such a great time they will not even realize how much they are learning!

That's not all the Orlando Science Center has to offer. Not by a long shot. So if you are bound for Orlando this Spring why not set aside one day for something other than The Mouse and that black-and-white whale. Set aside a day for fun and learning in downtown Orlando at the Orlando Science Center.



Take It To The Bank... If Your Bank Is Still Solvent, That Is

And now, the economic news you've all been waiting for. No, not orange juice futures... The MediaBlog gives you the definitive information on the economy. Here you go. This is GDP growth rates from 4Q 2008 going forward. They are what the final numbers will be. In the words of Rush Limbaugh, don't doubt me:

4Q 2008 ---- -5.5% (actual -6.3%)
1Q 2009 ---- -4.1% (actual -5.5%)
2Q 2009 ---- -2.3% (actual -0.7%)
3Q 2009 ---- -0.3% (actual +2.2%)
4Q 2009 ---- +0.9% (actual +5.7%)
1Q 2010 ---- +2.5%

Freedom of Religion

.: Amy Robach's Exclusive Interview With Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich

One of the great things about America is that we can worship in our own way. Some people go to church on Sunday, some go to the mosque on Friday. Me? I go to the temple on Saturday. No, not THAT temple. Oy. No, I go to the Temple of Amy.

So Saturday morning, I'm all set for my usual routine. It's one minute before the hour and I'm on my knees in front of the hi-def ready to spend two hours worshiping Amy Robach. I hear the familiar music playing so I bow down and wait. And then...

What the crap? That's not Amy. That's Jenna Wolfe. Oh my God! I must have gone to sleep on Friday night after Battlestar and slept all the way through until Sunday morning.

As it turns out, no. It was still Saturday. Jenna was filling in for Miss Amy. Hmph, I think. Not liking this. I mean, I understand that She Who Must Be Worshipped needs a vacation every now and then, but what about me? What about my needs?

She's "on assignment" they say. Oh well! La dee da! What was so important that they had to ruin my Saturday? Screw this, I'm eating pie for breakfast!

Well, turns out that Miss Amy was off snagging an exclusive interview with a crooked Illinois politician. No, the white one. That's right: Rod Blagojevich. So Amy chose him over me? After all I've done for her? And with that hair he has? What are you thinking, Amy? What are you thinking?

Seriously, this is a major, major coup for Amy and shows that NBC definitely views her as rising talent. The next star. Very well deserved, in my opinion.

Kudos to our Miss Amy! Oh, and since we're in a generous mood, I'm going to say something nice about Jenna. We still don't think she's hot, but we will concede that she is dramatically less annoying than she was when she started. I think she still gets on Lester's nerves, but she's better. I think someone must have had The Talk with her and told her to cool it.

Thank God.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

We Have Been Sadly Remiss

It has been a long time, far too long in fact, since we gave you a photo of our Miss Amy. Never fear, however, because we've got your fix right here. And it's a nice, big photo too. You can zoom in and count her pores.

If you're into that sort of thing, that is.

Regrets, I've Had a Few

A small Biden moment, a cool Obama reaction - Yahoo! News

You know, we may have to come up with a tag for this because I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of them. Biden gaffes? Something like that.

Actually, I don't even think this one was a gaffe, but The Dear Leader sure seemed to think so. In a nutshell... Plugs was getting ready to swear in the senior staff. He made a little quip about how Chief Justice Roberts flubbed the oath for Obama. Whatever else we may say about Joe Biden, and there's a lot to say, he honestly seems to be fairly natural, fairly genuine, fairly "real." Now, that may not always be a good thing because the "real" Joe Biden is sometimes embarrassing. Still, in a world filled with posturing politicians, it's kind of refreshing.

Apparently, however, Obama was not refreshed... Or even amused. He didn't even crack a smile.

I have a feeling that if he had it to do over, The Dear Leader would not have selected Joe Biden. That doesn't mean he would have gone with Hillary because I personally think that was a non-starter from day one. Who would have been the alternative to Joe? Who knows? Who cares? The point is that I don't think there are many people who honestly think that Joe Biden added much to the ticket from an electoral standpoint. Maybe the experience argument, but I don't think Obama ever really believed that this was an experience election. He was right about that. If it were, he would have lost - with or without Biden.

I also think, and I believe I've said this before, that Joe Biden is going to end up a very disappointed, very frustrated man. He probably believes that Obama is going to come to him for his counsel, his experience. I don't think that's going to happen. In fact, Biden is going to be very lucky if he can avoid being publicly humiliated by Obama.

It seems to me that there is more than a healthy level of ego in Barack Obama. That's true of most politicians, but I think it's especially true of Obama. I get the sense that he may feel like he doesn't need counsel, doesn't need anyone else. Oh, he may need technical advice on some particular subject, but I don't get the sense that he feels like he needs wisdom from anyone else. It's sort of the difference between your relationship with a plumber and your relationship with your dad (hopefully you get where I'm going with that metaphor).

Anyway, it's going to be a long 4 years for Joe Biden.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Perfect in Purple

I'd call it purple anyway. What do men know about color? And since this is about as close as I'm likely to get to sitting across the dinner table from Megyn Kelly at a fancy New York restaurant...

Thoughts On Yesterday

I know, a day late.  I didn't get around to it yesterday and, to be honest, it might be just as well since it gave me more time to think about what I wanted to say.

If you've read this blog for awhile you know that I am decidedly partisan.  I will put my conservative bona fides up against just about anyone.  Still, I'm going to make a point of giving our new president the benefit of every doubt.  Mrs. MediaBlog, who is more of the classic Religious Right than I am, was making negative comments about him all day.  I gently shushed her as much as I could.  I think a lot of her annoyance came from the extent to which the media was fawning yesterday and, to be honest, I can't disagree with her on that.  It was pretty nauseating.  Still, I really didn't want to hear negativity yesterday.  I made a point of not listening to critical voices from the Right yesterday: no Rush, no Sean, no Glenn Beck.  It was old Phillips Philes and a little Dave Ramsey for me yesterday.

I think it was Jonah Goldberg who wrote a column in the last couple of days saying (more or less) that we make a mistake as Conservatives if we deny the signifigance of this. I think he's right.  I am not happy that a Democrat, the junior senator for Illinois, was elected president.  I am, however, thrilled that America is the sort of country where a Black man can be elected President of the United States.  During the fawning coverage, Tom Brokaw got a little choked up when he talked about how those who were humiliated by segregation have lived to see a Black man elected president.  Tom has reached the age where his emotions are close to the surface, but he's right about that.  This truly is an amazing country.  Not a perfect country, but an amazing one.  A country where we can go from separate drinking fountains to a Black president in the span of not even 50 years.  For a social transformation of that magnitude to have taken place so quickly (in historical terms) and with minimal bloodshed (again, in historical terms and by comparison to the amount of blood shed in other parts of the world during periods of dramatic social change) is nothing short of amazing.

So, I wish he were a Republican, I wish I agreed with him more, but I am very proud to have Barack Obama as my president.

And, for what it's worth, I harbor the hope that maybe I'll agree with him more than I might have expected.  Maybe nearly as much as I would have agreed with McCain (who wasn't all that conservative either).  As Bill Clinton found out, whatever he may want to do, there are limits on what he actually can do.  If Obama overreaches, he's going to get smacked back.  I like to think he's got a practical, pragmatic core.  We shall see.

Anyway, yesterday was a good day.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Apparently Foot-In-Mouth Disease Runs In The Family

Biden tries to shush wife after state-VP slip - Yahoo! News

So Jill let it slip that Plugs had his choice between Veep and SecState. He chose the warm spit.

I know that tonight, on the eve of the coronation of The Dear Leader, we're supposed to be focused on His glory. Still, I can't help but wonder how all those Hillary Clinton pumas feel knowing that their gal got the sloppy seconds.

Just keep thinking about it, gals. The Dear Leader gave Hillary the leftovers. Some respect, huh?

A Statement

To the hostess at On The Border Friday night who was wearing the tight black top and looked a little like Ashlee Simpson... Damn nice pair of ta's.

I'm just saying.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

For The Love of God, Will The Gentleman Yield?

Political Punch: Biden Yields the Floor (Literally)

I've said before that for some reason I can't entirely fathom, I have a soft spot for Crazy Joe Biden AKA Plugs Biden. I don't know why. It makes no sense. I agree with him on next to nothing. I just find him... I don't know... Endearing? God help me, I think that's it.

Anyway, he gave his farewell address to the Senate today. And gave it, and gave it, and gave it.

I think I may feel just a little bit sorry for him, to be honest. Earlier in the week, a couple of days ago, I watched some footage on Fox News. He was with The Dear Leader. At some point, one of the assembled reporters asked Biden a question. I don't even remember the question. Something about Iraq or Afghanistan. Biden just got back from there. The question was directly addressed to Biden. Obama cut in before he could answer but, of course, graciously allowed that Joe could add anything he'd like after The Dear Leader was done speaking.

In other words, Obama was going to make sure what he wanted said got said before Biden could go off into left field for an hour and a half. I think Biden can expect a lot more of that. If he thinks he's going to get the sort of respect that Bush gave Cheney he can forget about it. If anything, I think Obama has long sense decided that he doesn't need Biden and that Biden's chief virtue, in Obama's mind at least, is that he is in no way a rival or even a successor.

You can tell a good bit about someone by how they treat their subordinates. Personally, I think the way Obama treated Biden didn't speak very well of The Dear Leader.

You Know What Assuming Does

Bush to defend his tenure in farewell address - Yahoo! News

You know, I've seen something thrown around a lot in recent weeks. It's one of those memes that has become real through repetition rather than because it is accurate. The article referenced above includes it:

Bush's presidency began with the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil and ends with the worst economic collapse in three generations.

Worst since the great depression. Worst since World War II. Worst in three generations. All variations on a theme. The problem is that it ain't true. It may turn out to be accurate but it isn't right now. There is absolutely no concrete basis for the assertion. It is speculative at best and sensationalistic at worst.

Let's deal in facts, shall we? There is no major economic statistic that is at it's worst level since the Great Depression. Not unemployment. Not GDP decline. Not the size of the market downturn. Nothing.

What we have now, factually, is a substantial economic downturn. By the standards of the last couple of decades it is severe. That is partially a proof of the severity of the current situation, but it is equally a proof of just how good the economy has been since the early 80s. Contrary to what Bubba told you during the 1992 campaign, it wasn't the worst economy since Herbert Hoover. It's a nice line, but saying don't make it so.

Everybody Panic!

Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay

The MediaBlog: THE source for news and information on the monkey threat.

Here we go again, friends. We keep telling you that while everyone is focused on the economy and Gaza and what kind of dog Obama is going to get, the real threat is in the trees.

Now it's a... Let's just cut to the mustard... It's a shit-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa. The damn, dirty ape is running around throwing shit at people. What does the illustrious, the vaunted, the respected Associated Press think about that?

"The monkey is not considered dangerous."

I guess my question, Mr. AP Reporter is... Not considered dangerous by whom? I mean, I understand not wanting to set off a panic, but if there is some sort of crazed, shit-throwing monkey coming down my street then I'm going to consider that pretty damned dangerous. If it's my kid getting a faceful of monkey shit... Yeah, I think that's dangerous.

People have to stop minimizing the monkey threat. Denial isn't going to save us. If we let this little simian bastard get away with this then they are just going to get bolder and bolder. They need to find the damn thing, contain him and have a sniper put one round through his 10 ring. Well, he's pretty small... Maybe it's only a 3 ring on a rhesus. I don't know. I don't care. All I know is that someone needs to plug the monkey.

And, by the way, if you never saw Plug the Monkey then you really missed out. That was some high quality porno right there. Not that I've seen it myself. I don't go in for that sort of thing. No. Definitely not. I hear things though. From people.

And Now A Moment of Seriousness

Yeah, I know... It's out of character. Still, we do have a soul, you know... A small one...

Anyhoo, per my traffic logs. Someone on Comcast from Wareham, MA found there way to ye olde blog around 11:45 this morning. They got here because they typed "God help me stop worrying" into Google.

Now, maybe it was nothing, but if that was a genuine cry for help then I want you to know that I think maybe God answered your prayer. I mean, it isn't like this blog was on the first page of search results for the particular topic. I don't think it is anyway. No, you ended up here for a reason and I think it was this:

Worry is the big struggle in my life, too. I come by it naturally. I come from generations of worriers. I fight it every single day. I worry about things over which I have absolutely no control. I'm not nearly as bad as my mom or, from what I've heard, my grandparents, but I've got the gene. Maybe it will get worse as I age or maybe it fades a little through the generations, but whatever. I understand worry.

I also understand asking God to help you deal with it because I do that too. I even came up with a little phrase I tell myself when I am dealing with this: Worrying means you're not trusting Him.

Yeah, it ain't Billy Graham, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. If we have faith that God is in control then we do not need to worry. If you are a Christian then you probably know that Jesus taught us this:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I'm giving you Jesus' words because nothing I can say to you would be clearer or more useful to you. I will tell you that whatever problems you are dealing with, worrying will not make them even the least bit better. In fact, if you are consuming yourself with worry you probably won't be at your best as you deal with them. If you let go of the worry and focus only on what (if anything) you can do to resolve the problems, you will probably be much better off.

For what it's worth, I'm glad you ended up here. I hope what I've said has been of some small help to you. I just finished saying a prayer for you and I have faith that God will be there for you if you call on Him. You're going to make it.

Okay. We now return you to our previously scheduled program already in progress. :)

If She Left Us, We Might Have Jumped Too

We can't say that she's our favorite criminal.  That honor/title still goes to Jocelyn Kirsch.  And, for that matter, she hasn't been accused of anything.  Still, there's no denying that Michelle Schrenker is a hot, hot, hottie.  For those who don't know, she is the soon to be ex-wife (smart move, Michelle) of the D.B. Cooper of our day, Marc Schrenker.  You know...  The guy financial planner or whatever he is who abandoned his plane in mid-air, jumped for it, got on his stashed motorcycle and attempted (with the emphasis on attempted) to make his getaway.

Things didn't turn out so well for Marc-y Marc. He's in a Tallahassee, Florida hospital with a slashed wrist and he's probably going to end up doing federal time for hitting the silk out of a perfectly good airplane. And then there is that pesky little matter of the original financial misdeeds.

Anyway, Marc wasn't the only Schrenker who bailed, but Michelle's timing was a heck of a lot better.  You know, I normally  hate this sort of picture.  It's kind of a pathetic display of wealth, don't you think?  Neuveau riche in spades.  And what really makes it even a little sadder is when you take good look at the photo.  I mean, it's a Lexus and a prop plane.  Now, I have neither, but even so...  I mean, if it's a Bentley and a G5 then, okay, maybe you've earned the privilege of rubbing the rest of our collective noses in it.  Until then, not so much.

Still, even though I'm going to condemn Marc, I'm inclined to give Michelle a pass on it.  I've got sort of a soft spot for the attractive rich chick thing.  Maybe I'm subconsciously looking for a Sugar Mama.  Who knows?  All I can say is that since you're back on the market, Michelle, look me up.  I'll ease your pain, baby!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Something Else To Like About Ricardo Montalban

R.I.P. - Kathryn Jean Lopez - The Corner on National Review Online

Per K-Lo, he was a National Review subscriber. You can tell a lot about a man by what he reads.

And, you know, I'm just going to say this:

I'm straight as an arrow, but... Damn that's one handsome man!

Help In A Time of Trouble

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You may feel like you are alone in this struggle.  You are not.  Or, at least, you do not have to be.  Not when there are places like Promises.  Get the help you need.  Check out the link above to find out more about Promises Treatment Centers.


Ricardo Montalb�an has died at 88 | Hero Complex | Los Angeles Times

I only pray to God that I have pecs like that when I'm 61. Or now for that matter.

You may have served up some bad karma with the whole megalomaniac, genetically-enhanced despot thing but you made up for it by saving Dr. Zira's baby. Of course, I guess that sort of led to the defeat of humanity by a race of talking monkeys so... Um... Maybe that wasn't such a great thing after all.

Well, let bygones be bygones as we always say. Fare thee well, sir. Wherever you're going, may all the leather be rich Corinthian leather.

Monday, January 12, 2009


Olmert says Rice embarrassed over UN vote; U.S. denies the claim - Yahoo! Canada News

You know, I get the fact that a lot of stupid things are said in the heat of a political campaign. Some, however, are dumber than others. Among the dumbest I can recall are some comments made by Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert regarding the recent UN Security Council vote on a ceasefire in Gaza. To wit:

"I said: 'Get me President Bush on the phone,"' Olmert said Monday in a speech in the southern Israeli city of Ashkelon. "They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said I didn't care: 'I need to talk to him now.' He got off the podium and spoke to me."

Olmert said he told Bush that the United States should not vote in favour, and the U.S. president then called Rice and told her not to do so.

Given the number of anti-Semitic loons who go around screaming at the top of their lungs that the Jews run America... ZOG and all that rot... The Prime Minister of Israel would be well advised not to make it sound like the President of the United States is his errand boy.

I mean, I'm as big a supporter of Israel as you are likely to find, but even I feel like telling him to go pound sand when I read BS like that.

Family Fun

Are you interested in finding a great activity for the whole family? Something grownups and the kids can all enjoy? Activities like that are few and far between but I've found one that just might be right for your family.

If it sounds appealing to you and if you live or will be visiting the Orlando area then you definitely need to take a day and check out Otronicon @ Orlando Science Center. My family loves to visit Central Florida and we've been to the Orlando Science Center several times. It's fascinating any time, but Otronicon is something beyond the usual.

It starts January 16th and runs through January 20th. In addition, it will be open to school groups from January 21st through January 23rd. Admission is only $17 for adults and just #12 for children under the age of 12. If you are a member of the Orlando Science Center then they will welcome your admission will be free.

Along with other exciting exhibitions and attractions, there will be Video game tournaments with Rock Band, Wii Fitness, Guitar Hero and more. Why, there is even a gamer wedding!

Find out some other details on the event on the website which is located at Don't miss this exciting opportunity for fun and learning for the entire family.



Damn You, Roger Ailes!

Yeah, I know...  Big Rog probably doesn't have a whole lot to do with the set redesign on the Fox Report.  Still, we have to focus our anger somewhere so...

To put it in a nutshell, we're not happy about the redesign of the set for Fox News' flagship news broadcast.  Now, don't get us wrong...  Five days a week we could care less.  Why you ask?  Simple.  We're not interested in seeing Shepard Smith's legs.  If you are then great.  More power to you.  See you in hell.  No, what we want to see are Julie Banderas' legs.  Used to you could count on seeing her sitting on a stool with those long and lovelies crossed at least once or twice.  Now?  Not so much.

Still, we're giving you what we've got, friends.  Two pics of our raven-haired goddess from this past weekend.  It's the best we could come up with.  Don't blame us.  Blame Big Rog.  Anyway, here you go:

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Hi, Everybody!

Maybe it's just us but it seems like that Google algorithm needs a little work.

Maybe He's Not So Bad After All

In Obama, many see an end to baby boomer era - Yahoo! News

Photos, Photos Everywhere!

Sometimes we give it to you in dribs and drabs. And then other times we shoot the whole load. Ahem... Okay, that probably wasn't the best metaphor. Anyhoo... Shall we begin with the loveliest of the Fox Newsies. Your friend and mine, Miss Megyn Kelly:

And staying in the same vein, lets give you a little of our Miss Julie Banderas. Yeah, she's dumb as a post. Do we care? We do not:

One more newsie? Let's turn back to our favorite Saturday morning pick-me-up, Miss Amy Robach:

Okay, that will do for the newsies. Everything doesn't have to be all who, what, where, when and why... Let's move on to our favorite Friend. We miss seeing her every week. However, we never got to see this much of her. You know, Brad Pitt really is an idiot. Okay, no more stalling... Jennifer Aniston:

Oh yeah... That'll cure what ails you. But we're not stopping here, friends... We now move on to the lovely Dayna Devon.  We think she's on some Hollywood show.  We don't know.  We don't care.  We saw her doing a bit part on a rerun of Enterprise and we immediately went to warp.  Yowza!

And, finally, we have the beautiful-in-blue Corinna Allen. We think she's a local newsie in Atlanta. Whatever. She's hot. That is all you know and all you need to know:

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Turns Out He Can't Even Build A House

Charity homes built by Hollywood start to crumble - Times Online

Residents of a model housing estate bankrolled by Hollywood celebrities and hand-built by Jimmy Carter, the former US president, are complaining that it is falling apart.

It seems that The House Peanuts Built is now full of mold, mildew, rats and ants. In fact, a lot of them are since they were built on top of a garbage dump.

It's sort of sad, actually. Despite the fact that he's long-since become a terrorist apologist, Peanuts at least had all that good house building work to hold onto. And now he's losing even that.

Once You've Had Black

One If By Land, Two If By Sea

Friends, I feel like this is my time. This is why God put me where I am. If Glenn Beck can get messages from the Almighty on that shortwave chip the Greys implanted in his brain (by way of his ass during his butt surgery, I'm guessing), then why is it so hard to believe that The Great Jehovah is sending me messages on another frequency? Huh?

While Beck wastes your time with Perfect Storms and hyper-inflation (Mon/Weds/Fri) and deflation (Tues/Thurs), I'm keeping you informed on where the real danger lies:


Well, friends, we're back again to keep you updated. I wish I could say things have gotten better, but they haven't. In fact, they've gotten much, much worse:

Cute, huh? Pull yourself together, man! It isn't cute. It's a fracking nightmare! This isn't a cute little monkey on a jet ski. This is a mobile, sea-borne commando. It's a Monkey SEAL for god's sake! You strap some TNT on that little furry bastard and none of us are safe. While the navy is busy wasting its time on Somali pirates, these guys are going to be entering our ports and attacking our shipping. Hitting bridges. And that's best case. If one of those little simian suicide bombers gets his paws on a nuke then it's over. Everyone on the George Washington Bridge will be oohing and ahhing about how cute it is to see the little guy cruising up the Hudson River. And then there will be a blinding flash of light. And then they'll all be dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

Real funny, huh? Real fracking cute.

Wake up!

The Best Commercial Since That Urine B Gone Thing

You're Gonna Love My Nuts! • VideoSift: Online Video *Quality Control

Friday, January 02, 2009

Making A Virtue Out of a Vice

Kathleen Reardon: What to Expect from an Intelligent President

The hagiography continues at the HuffPo. This time it's about just how brilliant, certainly much brighter than everyone who doesn't read the HuffPo, Barack Obama is.

And what's scary, freaky cool about his massive space-alien-like intellect is how it shows itself in odd, backwards ways. Sort of like how all the cold weather is proof of global warming. Or how my unrelieved virginity in high school was just more proof of what an incredible stud I was.

For example:

We should brace ourselves for him to make decisions that seem at times contradictory to what he said during his campaign - not because he lied, but because he never got very specific. As the complex among us do, he left doors slightly open on major issues knowing he might need to slip through them to focus on more pressing ones.

It all makes sense now! He wasn't a platitude-speaking empty suit! Of course not! And he's not going to be duplicitous! Heaven forbid! No, every time he does something contrary to what he told us he would do, The Dear Leader is just displaying his brilliance for us.

Everything is so simple once the HuffPo explains it to us knuckle-draggers.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Only One Birthday In December Really Mattered

Oh... Well, yeah... His too, I guess.

No, I was thinking about JoJo. She turned 18 on December 20th.

My question is whether this confers some sort of retroactive immunity for any thoughts someone might have had at some point. You know. Someone.

Not so much, huh? You sure about that? Yeah. I guess not. Oh well... Hell it is then.

God Help Me But I Find This Funny

Have You Considered The Spell Check, Tolstoy?

100.7 FM WFLA - Tallahassee's Talk Radio - Preston Scott's Blog

You know, it's been far too long since we took a chunk out of the Panhandle's biggest radio hack, Preston Scott. This time, instead of focusing on his lack of broadcast talent, we're going to focus on the inverse relationship between his writing ability and his writing aspirations.

We take you to Preston's blog post for 12/11/2008 which reads in part:

First, let me say that I am honored that you make the time to read this stuff. Though I am far from a literary genius, it is does give me a chance to tune-up for my various book projects. (Yes, I do have several books on subjects wide and varied. From golf to life and everything in bewteen).

Here's a little thought for you, Presto. Before you start writing the Great American Novel, how about you learn to proofread? You think maybe?

Riding The Corpse - Times Square Edition

Luke Russert wearing that damed blood-red watchcap over his big Irish head makes him look like he has an enormous zit on the top of his skull.

Stand back!  He's going to blow!