Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Closed Circuit To Julie Banderas




So, here's the thing Jules... We're wondering if maybe Fox News has some sort of Be An Intern for a Day contest. If so, we'd like to sign up. Or it doesn't have to be anything official. Maybe you could have some sort of essay contest. 100 words on Why I'd Like to Be Julie Banderas' Bitch for the Day.

At the end of the day, we don't really care about the methodology. We just want to have the privilege of fetching your coffee and running your errands for the day. You can even go all diva on us when we screw up your lunch order. Call us all sorts of filthy names. It will only make us love you more.

Glenn Beck: A Frightfully Strange Man

Morning Joe Talks Glenn Beck: "Roger Ailes is <em>the</em> Genius" - mediabistro.com: TVNewser

And if that isn't the best pithy description of Glenn...

Anyhoo, the folks at Morning Joe had a little fun with Glenn Beck's propensity for... Well, emotion would be the polite term for it. Deranged crying jags would probably be more accurate, however.

They seem conflicted as to whether Glenn is insane but genuine or a charlatan. I've always leaned toward the former.

Anyhoo... Watch for yourself:

Monday, March 30, 2009

Whip Me, Beat Me, Make Me Write Bad Checks!

Dominatrix Den Linked to $50M Mortgage Scam | NBC New York

Find Your Place for Space

With so many different services out there it is very tempting to think that it really does not matter which one you choose to host your blog or website.

Tempting but very, very wrong.

The difference between a good webhost and a bad one is pretty simple really. It is unhappy readers, unhappy customers, lost sales. Yes, it really is that serious.

You need to make an informed choice but where are you going to get the information you need to really be informed? Really, there is a simple answer to this difficult question: webhostinggeeks.com

Webhostinggeeks.com is the only source you need for You know, there are at least a thousand and one different companies offering web site hosting information. It gives you ratings and reviews of hundreds of webhosting providers, broken down into categories that quickly, easily let you find just what you are looking for.

For example, let's say you are interested in finding the best place for blog hosting. Thanks to their layout, you do not have to waste time sorting through sites that are not what you are looking for. You can go straight to webhostinggeeks top choices for blog hosts.

So, if you are planning to start a website, or maybe if you do not feel like your current webhost is providing the best possible service. Whatever the reason, webhostinggeeks is the first, last and only stop you need to find the best in webhosting.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

It's Like He KNEW or Something!

Popgadget Personal Technology for Women: Circumcised men are good for women

My longtime reader(s) (Hi Mom!) know that we have long made a big deal about foreskins. God only knows what sort of traffic using that word is going to bring from Google searches.

Anyhoo, and speaking of God, we've made it our little Baptist crusade to speak about against Jews who don't practice circumcision. Yeah, we're Southern Baptist so it really isn't any of our business, but when has that ever stopped us.

Anyway, as it turns out, having the tip snipped does more than reduce sexual pleasure by as much as 40% (Damn you, Dr. Kessel!). Yeah, as it turns out it helps prevent STDs not only for the guy but for his lady love as well.

This Yahweh fella... Kind of smart, huh? So maybe it's not such a good idea to tell Him to take His sign of the covenant and shove it up His divine ass.

I'm just saying.

Get On Your Bike And Ride!

Got a broken spoke?

How about a flat tire?

Bent the handlebars?

Don't chuck that bike, repair it! Sage Cycles has all the bicycle parts you need to get your ride back out on the road. They have thousands of parts for every make and model. From apparel to wheels, Sage Cycles is your first and only stop for bike parts.

And That's Why He Wears The Bow Tie

Longtime NBC News Correspondent Irving R. Levine Dies - mediabistro.com: TVNewser

SNL reference. Paul Simon. Al Franken from back when we didn't realize what an ass he was.

Anyhoo... It's sort of sad when the figures of your youth pass. I guess it might be a little odd for Irving R. Levine to be a figure of your youth but I was an odd little youth.

I've spent years saying "Irving R. Levine, NBC News, Washington" in his peculiar nasal tone. I hadn't heard it in years of course, but it still seems odd to think that I'll never hear it again this side of the vail of tears.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

It's Time to Cut the Wires

Don't you just love your cable company?

Yeah, me neither. Every month when you pay the bill you feel like you are paying more and more for less and less. For a lot of folks, the cable bill is darn near as high as the power bill but you're getting a whole lot less bang for your buck. A few high definition stations, maybe. A couple of premium channels. Your networks of course. What else? How about a bunch of channels you never even watch? What are you paying for, anyway?

Thankfully, there is a better way. Ditch cable and go with the dish. Dish Network gives you the television programming that you want at a price that will not break the bank. You get all your favorite channels in stunning high definition at a reasonable price each month.

How reasonable? How does $9.99 strike you? No, that's not a typo. $9.99! Let Dish Network show you just how you can do it. You're not going to be giving up anything but the sticker shock you feel each and every month when you tear open that envelope from the cable company.

All your favorite channels in great quality for only $9.99? Why would anyone not take this deal? And, unlike cable, you don't have to worry about where you are. Live in the city? You can get the dish. Live in the booneys? You can get the dish. This is one deal that really is for everyone.

Find out more using the link above.



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Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Dear Leader Can Do No Wrong

Obama on 'Tonight Show' Discusses Economy, Makes Special Olympics Joke

"President Obama sat down with Jay Leno on Thursday for a late-night TV interview that spanned a range of topics...and even, at one point, featured the president joking that his bowling ability was suitable for the Special Olympics."

Obama bragged to "The Tonight Show" that he recently bowled 129 on the White House alley.

"It's like Special Olympics," he said.


If Dubya had said this I can guaran-damn-tee you that Meredith Viera would be talking to Eunice Kennedy Shriver on the Today Show tomorrow morning. In addition, there would be a couple of tards on the couch beside her. The little Corkys would be babbling about how it hurt them when Pwesdent George made fun of them.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

This Has Got To Stop

Inhabitat � Student Designs Biodegradable Packaging for McDonald’s

Remember those halcyon days when McDonalds served their food in styrofoam containers? I do. Your quarter pounder actually stayed hot. It was a thing of beauty.

Then the tree-hugging earth-worshippers came along and we were left with flimsy little cardboard boxes or, God help us, waxed paper.

Now some dweeb wants to make McDonalds packaging out of frigging grass paper. Biodegradable! Save the planet!

Let me make myself very, very clear. I don't care if the ice caps melt and Denver is a fracking beach. I want my styrofoam back.

I Need the AP to Tell Me THIS?

Drunken mayhem mars St. Patrick's in Ireland

In other news, pope still Catholic, bears still crap in the woods.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

My Response While Listening

I wish I were in a burning ring of fire.

Right now Johnny Cash is spinning like a fracking top.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Under the Sea

Do not ever make the mistake of thinking that dolphins are "dumb animals." Absolutely nothing could be further from the truth. Rather, they are intelligent, social animals that play and learn in many of the same ways that we humans do.

If you want proof of this truth all you need to do is watch this video:



Amazing, huh? The video you saw above was recently featured on ABC's World News with Charles Gibson and has been drawing an amazing level of interest. I think the reason that it fascinates people so much is because it is so very human. We tend to think that there is this unbridgeable gulf between humans and animals. Now, obviously there are a lot of differences, but there are more similarities than we sometimes realize.

And none of what you are seeing is instinctive behavior. Rather, it is something the dolphins have devised on their own and taught to one another. Dolphin Bubbles is a website brought to you by Sea World where you can see and learn more about this amazing behavior.  If you are as captivated by this amazing video as I am then take a moment to check out the website and learn more about our playful, intelligent friends in the sea.


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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Do They Even Try To Vet These People?

Obama's choice for top security posts withdraws candidature - International Herald Tribune

The Obama appointment train wreck continues. This time it's Chas Freeman, The Dear Leader's selection for chairman of the National Intelligence Council. Mr. Freeman self-destructed primarily over a number of comments which seemed rather critical of Israel and more than a little friendly toward the Godless butchers our strategic partners in Beijing.

I'll leave it to you to decide where Mr. Freeman came by his distaste for the Jewish state. How fondness for the Chicoms, however, is perfectly understandable...

THEY PAY HIM

Mr. Freeman served for four years on the board of a state-owned Chinese oil company. Why on earth would The Dear Leader select someone like this for a prominent post? Assume for the moment that the man is a patriot who could never be swayed by money. He may very well be. Do they not see how awful this looks?

My personal opinion is that if you serve on the board of a state-owned company operate by the Communist Chinese you have put the prospect of further public service behind you. Permanently.

Monday, March 09, 2009

White Bucks and Chemtrails Don't Mix

Can someone explain to me why the frack George Noory is having Pat Boone on Coast to Coast AM tonight?

I've always known that Noory is no Art Bell. He doesn't have the showman's gift that Art at his best has. You need that when you are talking to time travelers and prospective antichrists.

Still, aren't we taking being a pussy a bit too far here, Georgie Boy? I mean Pat Friggin Boone?

Reading Beyond the Headlines

More Americans say they have no religion

Americans rejecting God. All hell (if you believe in that sort of thing) about to break loose. Losing our faith... Blah blah blah.

It makes for a really good headline but I can give you another headline that is at least as accurate, probably more so...

Rate of Decline In Disbelief Slows Dramatically

Okay, so maybe it isn't as punchy. I admit that. It's more accurate however and not nearly as sensationalistic.

If you read the first couple of paragraphs of the story you find that 15% of Americans presently say that they have no religion. This is up from only 8.2% in 1990. However, it's only up by 0.8% since 2001. In other words, over 90% of that change happened between 1990 and 2001. While there has been continued decline it has slowed dramatically over the last 7 years. So dramatically, in fact, that one might suspect it has reversed itself.

That's not interesting though and writing headline is about getting people to read the article. I understand that. If you're going to sell soap you need to draw eyeballs. What bothers me is the extent to which many journalists would deny the role that salesmanship and sensationalism play in their trade.

Study: Belligerent chimp proves animals make plans

Study: Belligerent chimp proves animals make plans:
"A canny chimpanzee who calmly collected a stash of rocks and then hurled them at zoo visitors in fits of rage has confirmed that apes can plan ahead just like humans"


What have we been trying to tell you? But you wouldn't listen to us. No, you just went on with your lives as if nothing was wrong. Now you've got a scientist saying it. Will you listen now?

They are organizing. They are testing our defenses. They are making plans and they will strike.

Scripts? We Don't Need No Stinking Scripts!

Is NBC Nightly News Going to One Hour? - mediabistro.com: TVNewser

So NBC is moving Leno to 10pm thereby cutting out an hour of scripted television five nights each week. Meanwhile, they're talking about expanding Nightly News to an hour.

More brilliance from Jeff Zucker, I'm assuming.

Awhile back we (sort of) joked that with them tacking hours onto the back of Today in the morning and moving late night earlier and earlier that in a few years the two would meet in the middle sometime around 5 o'clock.

Now, as I said, we were (sort of) joking about that, but there's a grain of truth to it. Networks have discovered how profitable "reality" tv is. NBC's non-reality lineup is so much in the shitter that they really have very little to lose. I mean, isn't news the original "reality" programming? Talk/variety is reality of a sort. I don't think it's creative genius from Jeff Zucker (who, in case you haven't figured it out, I don't think much of). Rather, I think it's the triumph of the bean counters. I think it's entirely possible that you could see a day when one of the networks, presumably NBC, programs almost no original scripted drama or comedy. I think we're damn close to being there now. The transitional stage will be sharing programs between NBC and some of its cable outlets and they've already dipped their toe into that one.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Yee Ha!

 
This little cowgirl can hogtie me and brand my...

Ahem... Sorry. I forgot for a second that this isn't that kind of blog.

But it could be... Oh God, yes, it could be.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Sometimes I'm A Bastard

American Idol - The Blind Guy

The blind guy with the crazy eyes kind of sucked tonight. Of course, so did everyone else, so...

She Has The Most Perfect Skin I've Ever Seen







You know, if I could figure out that damned Twitter thing then I would twitter Miss Julie and tell her to dump this fiance of her's... Andy... And go for a little MediaBlog action.

Oh, hell, if she's that attached to him then fine, be that way. Surely she'd like a little Blog on the side... Hows about it, Jules?

Okay, fine... Play hard to get...

Um... Maybe I could fetch your dry cleaning then?

Fighting Below Your Weight Class

White House Knocks Jim Cramer For Calling Obama Budget "Greatest Wealth Destruction By a President" - mediabistro.com: TVNewser

Jim Cramer is insane. So stipulated.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, the Obama White House in general and Press Secretary Robert Gibbs need to understand that the campaign is over. As The Dear Leader is quick to point out, he won. They don't need to respond to these things anymore. They don't need to pick fights with radio talk show hosts no matter how popular they are.

He's the President of the United States. Gibbs represents him to the press. They need to understand that the proper way to deal with this sort of thing is to ignore it or to talk about living in a free society or whatever.

I'm only speaking politically, mind you. Even the insane are right sometimes.