Saturday, July 25, 2009

Here's What Timmy Will Be Bringing To Montessori School This Fall

Eco-friendly sandwich and storage bags - Ziploc� evolve™

As a parent, you're in a bit of a quandary. As a good tree-hugging Leftie, you want to take care of your child. You know, the one that actually made it out of your womb in one piece... Unlike the others that you had vacuumed out of your womb because you didn't want to spend the rest of your life at Costco. Still, you want to save the planet. What's a parent of unspecified gender to do?

Thankfully, the evil bastards right-thinking corporate citizens at Ziploc are here to help. You can now pack your little zygote's wheat germ in Evolve plastic bags.

Plastic? You mean non-biodegradable, made from fossil fuels plastic? Are you insane? Plastic is murder!

Well, yes, but now it's 25% less murder! In other words. The bags are thinner. So they'll break. Sure, Timmy is going to be hungry when some little Republican kid punches him in the stomach and makes him drop his baggie of wheat germ. Still, you'll feel better knowing that it will be like this only happened 3.75 times a week rather than the 5 times a week with regular plastic bags.

Plus, Ziploc Evolve bags are manufactured using wind energy. Wind! Isn't that just swell? Sure, those gigantic turbines kill more birds than Colonel Sanders but... Um... Hm...

Anyhoo, you really need to buy these Ziploc Evolve bags today. If you wait more than a week or two, the Ziploc executive pinhead who gave this project the greenlight will be on the unemployment line and the bags will be on the closeout shelf.

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