Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Yes, But You Don't Understand... He Won an Oscar.

Roman Polanski: ‘Everyone else fancies little girls too’ - Telegraph Blogs

And we quote the auteur:

“If I had killed somebody, it wouldn’t have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But… fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls!”

This is the man that the better sort of people are so quick to defend. If he were Rob Powell and he had drugged and sodomized a 13 year old girl, one wonders if the brightest lights of Hollywood would be so quick to make their stand for justice and mercy.

Monday, September 28, 2009

It's The Realism That Keeps Me Watching

Like the detail about little hole-in-the-wall check cashing places keeping $100,000 in the safe at any given moment. Counterfeit or otherwise. It's that kind of realistic detail that keeps you coming back for more.

Alone Again, Naturally

Engaged: Andrew Shue, TODAY's Amy Robach!

Oh, Amy, why do you keep breaking our heart?

First, you've taken to wearing sensible business attire on Saturdays. We were about five minutes from suggesting that you might want to take fashion tips from... Oh my God I can't believe I'm saying this... Jenna Wolfe. I mean, at least Spastic Jenna was wearing a flattering blue top on Sunday. You had some kind of blazer on. No, no, no, no.

And then we wake up this morning to find that you're engaged to Melrose Place 1.0 star and sometime-soccer player Andrew Shue. Why?

Was it something we said, Amy? You didn't even give us a chance. That's what hurts the most. And after all we've done for you. I'm sure we've done something for you. I can't think of it right now because of my emotional distress but even so.

Well, if you're looking for a little something something on the side... Or maybe if you'd just like to take us up on our standing offer to you and Julie Banderas... We're still right here waiting for you.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Get Your Motor Running!

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Forgiveness? Reconciliation?

"FlashForward" (2009)

I have to admit, when I saw Brannon Braga's name in the credits for FlashForward I had only one thought:

"Oh shit. I thought this might be good."

As it turns out, it is good. Quite good, actually. So far anyway. I've never thought much of Braga since his Trek days but maybe he doesn't suck as much as I thought. Any more at least.

Still Feel Like Singing Songs to Him, Kiddies?

More school: Obama would curtail summer vacation - Yahoo! News

Hows about this, Barry... Hows about instead of extending the school day to 10 hours or adding another 8 weeks in the summer, why don't we let kids spend extra time in the classroom? Maybe if we were to get rid of diversity indoctrination, self-esteem reinforcement training, political advocacy, GLBT acceptance education... You get the idea.

Question: Is this really about improving education for our children or is it about increasing pay for the teachers' union?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The Difference Between Think Tanks and Government

Podesta Says Value-Added Tax ‘More Plausible’ as Deficits Grow - Bloomberg.com

John Podesta has tons of government experience so he should know better than this. There is zip, zero, no chance of a VAT in the United States. Maybe as a part of a radical overhaul (or elimination) of the income tax but not otherwise.

If the Democrats proposed this it would be the end. Period. End of story. The end of their majority in the House in 2010, the end of their majority in the Senate by 2012 and the last time they'd get anyone in the White House for a generation.

It's all very well to advocate policies when you're in an interest group or a think tank based in Washington, but when you're the Congressman from Butt Scratch, Nebraska who has to go home and face the torches and pitchforks things look very different.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I Guess It Sucks After All

Watching the first five minutes of the film Broken Arrow I am struck by one thing... What miserable actors John Travolta and Christian Slater are.

This film is a real accomplishment. I mean, there are plenty of movies with one piss poor male lead, but two? That takes effort.

For some reason I remembered the movie has being slightly more entertaining than this.

I'm Not Sure

But I think I just heard Glenn Beck recommend that we hand over governance of the Republic to dogs.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Confession

I am a 36 year old heterosexual male.
To date I have spent $7.74 purchasing songs on iTunes by the cast of Glee.

Somebody please help me.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I See A Winner!

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Now they are sponsoring the “You Gotta See This” contest. You can participate by creating a video showing how better vision could improve or, maybe, has already improved people's lives. Be creative, be original. Make us laugh or touch a heartstring. Whatever you do, give it your best and you might just win one of several great prizes.

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Saturday, September 19, 2009

Good Advice

Monkey pushes woman who wouldn't share off cliff | World Breaking News | News.com.au

As we've told you before, all the monkey understands is force.

Here we see yet another example. Tour guide encourages tourist to buy a bag of monkey food. Tourist does so but then, for whatever reason, decides to keep the monkey chow for herself. Pissed off monkey proceeds to try to kill her.

Now, right from the get go we have a problem here. Clearly the tour guide has been cowed. If there is one thing we have learned it is that once you pay the Monkeygeld, you never get rid of the Monkey.

So, the tourist knuckles under and decides to bribe the monkey. At the last minute, however, she grows a pair and decides that, no, she won't give in to simian extortion. By God, that little monkey can go eat a banana because she'll be damned if she'll give him one ounce of monkey chow. Millions for defense but not once cent for tribute!

Well, it sounds good at this point, but apparently she must have lost her nerve at the last second. At least, that's what a spokesman for the park she was visiting believes. In his words:

"If you show fear a monkey will bully you."

Wise. Very wise. Oh, for what it's worth, she survived her encounter with the monkey.

This time.

Find Your Bliss!

Out with the old, in with the new. Or, rather, out with the ugly and in with the bliss!

Right now until 11/6/09, LG is giving you the chance to get rid of the ugly and find your bliss by taking part in their FindYourBliss contest! By taking part, you are entered to win some great prizes including a brand new LG Bliss phone or a $50 gift card you can use to buy a little piece of bliss for yourself.

You can upload an image or video of whatever your ugly is to the Gallery of the Utterly Ugly. Maybe your ugly is that hideous outfit your wore in the 70s. Maybe it's the junker you drove. Get rid of it, share it with others and make a little room for some bliss. Maybe it's some critter that is so ugly it's almost... Almost... Cute. Whatever it is, you can submit your photo and/or video by visiting the contest page on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/LGBliss.

Now, it's a limit of one entry per Facebook account so don't try to cheat. That would be a little too ugly. And we're not looking for violence, indecency or anything that is going to get you (or us or anyone else) arrested. That's too ugly too. And don't post photos of your ugly family members (or any other people for that matter). If you don't want to see them, why would anyone else?

So visit the LG Bliss Facebook Fan Page, upload your ugly and get ready for some bliss with LG!


Thursday, September 17, 2009

You Would Think They Would Be Used To It By Now

Obama junks Bush's European missile defense plan - Yahoo! News

The Poles and the Czechs have something of a history of being fucked over by the West.

The more things change...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Takes One To Know One

We kid!  We kid!  We kid because we love.  Or something like that.

Seriously, for once we find ourselves in complete agreement with The Dear Leader.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

That Sound You Hear Is Another $100K Going Into Joe Wilson's Campaign Kitty

Jimmy Carter: Wilson comments 'based on racism' - Yahoo! News

No, Asswipe, it wasn't. It may have been rude, it may have been ill-timed. It was NOT, however, based on racism. I am sick of people crying racism, I am sick of Peanuts spouting off about everything.

At the risk of offending Nancy Pelosi's delicate sensibilities... Jimmy Carter, you can go fuck yourself.

Monday, September 14, 2009

It Is To Laugh

Rules on Wilson's outburst open to interpretation - Yahoo! News

So the Dems are going to try to censure Joe Wilson over his "You Lie" outburst.

Okay, fine, whatever. I really don't give a shit and I rather doubt Congressman Wilson does either. Look, I'll admit that it showed a certain lack of decorum. Of course, I don't recall Miss Manners being quite so vocal back when the Dems were heckling Dubya, but whatever.

If anything, every vote that Nancy Pelosi gets to censure Wilson... And I'm sure she'll get plenty between her own drones along with all of the Republicans who are more than ready to bend over... Puts another $1000 into Wilson's campaign war chest.

Anyway, my only real reason for posting this is because there is a bit of doubt about what exactly the Democrats will use as a justification for censuring Wilson. The House wasn't in regular session so the standard rules on debate don't apply. All that really leaves, in the words of House parliamentarian John Sullivan, are the House's general code of conduct which requires that
"a lawmaker shall conduct himself at all times in a manner which shall reflect creditably on the House of Representatives."
You have got to be kidding me. If we censured every Congressman who "failed to reflect creditably on the House of Representatives" we'd have an empty chamber.

Still, you've got to love the Democrats for really working hard to get the business of the nation done. War? Recession? Health care "crisis"? Those will wait while we let Speaker Nancy work out her pique.

My Thoughts After Watching Two Minutes of The Tonight Jay Leno Show

Conan, in case you didn't already realize it, NBC fucked you up the ass with a pineapple.

Visual Proof That "The Arts" Are Completely Out of Touch With Real Americans

Beware the Fury of the Snipped!

Her.meneutics: The Case for Male Circumcision

Read through the page after page after page after page of comments. Quite honestly, your's truly is snipped and has never looked back. I mean, have you ever taken a really close look at one that isn't? Creepy.

Um... Not that I spend a lot of time looking at penises (penii?)... Snipped or otherwise. No. Certainly not.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Here's A Little Slice of My Life

And now the topic of conversation has turned to demons.

Just another fun weekend with the in-laws.

Where's JFK When You Need Him?

BBC NEWS | Americas | Venezuela to get Russian missiles

Yeah, it's not Soviet MRBMs pointed at New Orleans. Still, if we actually had a foreign policy that consisted of more than Barry mouthing platitudes while Thunder Thighs slips on a pantsuit and dances with/screams at the Third Worlders then maybe, just maybe this kind of bullshit wouldn't be going on.

There is no legitimate reason for Venezuela to have these sorts of weapons. Other than to intimidate its neighbors (ie Columbia), that is. And meanwhile, what are we doing to try to encourage the free, democratic nation of Columbia which has to deal with more than its fair share of bullshit because of our hunger for cocaine? We're telling them that we'd just as soon not trade freely with them but thanks for stopping by.

And you know, while we're at it, you did a little blow in your time. Isn't that right, Barry? Blow that was grown by workers in the fields who are often little better than slaves. Blow that was manufactured by terrorists who intimidate and assassinate judges and prosecutors. Blow that is smuggled across our borders in condoms within the bellies of desperate young men and women. Blow that is sold on street corners by violent thugs who carry on their turf battles without regard for the children who get caught in the crossfire.

Taking this back to the source... You think maybe... Maybe... You of all people owe a little special debt to the decent people of Columbia? Do you think so, Barry?

Just the Facts

Friday, September 11, 2009

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Monday, September 07, 2009

Have You Noticed?

It seems like Amy Robach is wearing dark, dull suits on Saturday, but when she fills in on a weekday she wears bright colors.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

And I'm Assuming The Fat Fuck Will Let You See His Movie For Free

Michael Moore declares all-out war on capitalism | Money & Company | Los Angeles Times

Sure he will.

A Question Sent Out Into The Ether

Does anyone still watch the Jerry Lewis telethon?  I mean,  he raises money so I guess someone must be watching, but I can't imagine who it might be. 

The MediaBlog Political Roundup

I haven't spent much time on politics lately.  Which is odd given how much is going on at the moment.  Just haven't felt particularly inspired, I suppose.

Let's cover a couple of things briefly...  Glenn Beck claims his first scalp with the resignation of Van Jones.  If you have read this blog at all then you know we believe Glenn is a wack-a-mole.  Nothing has changed.  Still, even a wack-a-mole can be right once in awhile.  Jones is so clearly outside the political mainstream that it is sort of shocking that he ever made it into the White House.  Of course, the entire "czar" process is designed to go around the usual channels and this is the result.  To be honest, what is even more troubling is the extent to which the mainstream media did not cover this.  All of the major outlets ignored it totally until the resignation.

The Obama schoolkids speech...  It is regretable that we have reached such a nadir in our political discourse that a speech by the President of the United States to schoolchildren is viewed with this level of suspicion.  The fault for this lies on both sides...  I mean, the people who were (and are) calling Dubya a war criminal or suspecting him of complicity in teh 9/11 attacks shouldn't be shocked that much of the Right doesn't trust Obama.  At any rate, I think the real problem here was never the speech itself, it was the lesson plans formulated by the Department of Education to accompany the speech.  How can I help President Obama???  A little too cult-of-personality for a lot of us.  I don't really think it was intended that way, but the failure to be able to step outside yourself and consider how it will be perceived by others suggests something that the healthcare debate has also shown: this administration is shockingly inept politically.

How can that be, you ask.  I mean, didn't they run a brilliant campaign?  I would suggest they did not.  Rather, the Obama campaign benefited from poor strategy and over-confidence from their primary opponent (Hillary Clinton) and simple ineptness combined with miserable luck for their general election opponent (McCain).  In other words, Obama combined personality with luck to achieve victory.

This has been sort of rambling.  I'm still not feeling especially inspired to discuss these subjects.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

To Be Serious For A Moment

We spend a good bit of time around here talking about how much we'd like to spend a day...  Or a week... Or the rest of our life...  On our knees giving Miss Amy's legs the calf massage she (and they) so richly deserve.

That being said, we have learned from utterly unreliable sources (ie the Internet), that Amy and her husband have divorced.  Now, while the selfish part of us might suggest that this is the best opening we have ever had and that Amy can count on us to provide any consolation she might need, the better angels of our nature wish to express our sympathy.