Saturday, September 19, 2009

Good Advice

Monkey pushes woman who wouldn't share off cliff | World Breaking News |

As we've told you before, all the monkey understands is force.

Here we see yet another example. Tour guide encourages tourist to buy a bag of monkey food. Tourist does so but then, for whatever reason, decides to keep the monkey chow for herself. Pissed off monkey proceeds to try to kill her.

Now, right from the get go we have a problem here. Clearly the tour guide has been cowed. If there is one thing we have learned it is that once you pay the Monkeygeld, you never get rid of the Monkey.

So, the tourist knuckles under and decides to bribe the monkey. At the last minute, however, she grows a pair and decides that, no, she won't give in to simian extortion. By God, that little monkey can go eat a banana because she'll be damned if she'll give him one ounce of monkey chow. Millions for defense but not once cent for tribute!

Well, it sounds good at this point, but apparently she must have lost her nerve at the last second. At least, that's what a spokesman for the park she was visiting believes. In his words:

"If you show fear a monkey will bully you."

Wise. Very wise. Oh, for what it's worth, she survived her encounter with the monkey.

This time.

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