Thursday, December 31, 2009

Don't Tease Me, Woman!

Megyn Kelly hosting New Years Eve on Fox News.

I've been down this road before. It will be 8 degrees and she'll be bundled up in a parka.

Wa-freaking-hoo.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

ADC Continues To Take It's Toll on One Note Andy

Though you might think otherwise, I really don't enjoy being an asshole. At least, not too much of one. There are some lines that I make a rule not to cross because they're just beneath me. I have some sense of decency. I'm just better than that.

However, because One Note Andy has become such a vile figure, I throwout the rulebook where he is concerned. Thus, the following...

Seems One Note Andy, in his continuing obsessive, catty war against Sarah Palin makes the comment that she is too cowardly even to sit down with C-Span's Booknotes for an interview regarding her book Going Rogue.

Of course, if years of buggery hadn't so badly impaired One Note's mental abilities he would probably realize that Booknotes, while a lovely program and often genuinely fascinating, hasn't actually been on the air in five years.

One Note gets his little giggles by pointing out that instead of a genuine interview, Sarah is being featured on C-Span's BookTV which will feature footage of her signing her book at a bookstore in Cincinnati along with an interview with her conducted by "the store's marketing and event coordinator."

Now, if One Note Weren't always so busy looking for his lube, he would realize that this is a very typical format for BookTV. Not at all unusual.

Get your facts straight, Andy. Otherwise just shut the fuck up.

A Little Heartwarrming Christmas Conservatism

"They Just Took My Money" - John J. Miller - The Corner on National Review Online

Monday, December 28, 2009

Hey! Good Job There Andy... Oh... Nevermind

To his credit, One Note Andy is spending a great deal of time covering the events currently taking place in Iran.

But then, being One Note Andy, he has to fuck it up by simultaneously covering the child custody goings-on of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston.

Nappy to Airlines: Nevermind

TSA easing off new airline rules, JetBlue brings back live TV

You say the system worked,
You say the system failed.
You say keep your seats,
You say walk about the cabin.
You do the Nappy Two-Step and you turn yourself around,
That's what it's all about!

So now Janet Napolitano says that it's okay if you read a book or visit the privy that last hour of flight. And you can watch a little TV too. Have fun. Knock yourself out. Provided the flight crew says it's okay, of course.

These guys really do have their heads up their asses, don't they? I mean, for a team that ran a pretty darn tight campaign, these people govern like the gang that couldn't shoot straight.

Here's what I take away from this. Homeland Security comes out with some idiotic regulations in an attempt to show that they're taking some sort of action. Oh, it's action that makes absolutely no sense... Action that won't accomplish anything at all... But when has that ever stopped the Left? Hell, the whole New Deal was built on that premise. Action for action's sake and nevermind what (if anything) it actually does.

Anyway, a couple of days pass and they realize that they look stupid. Of course, the Obama Administration does not admit mistakes... Ever... So they just say that, hey, captain's discretion. Of course if, God forbid, another attack or attempted attack takes place and it turns out that the captain was letting the passengers use the lavatory then they'll blame him and the airline and take zip, zero, no responsibility themselves.

If this weren't all so tragic and pathetic it could actually be damn funny. If only it were someone else's country we could laugh about it. Instead all we can do is weep... And get angry.

I Guess It Depends on Your Definition of "Worked"

Sunday Show Synopsis: "The System Worked" - The Atlantic Politics Channel

Awhile back, when Mr. and Mrs. MediaBlog moved into MediaBlog HQ, we took all of the junk we shouldn't have moved in the first place, stuck it out in the garage and covered it over with a tarp.

Some time later when we were with a group of friends, Mrs. MediaBlog commented that we had done so without any plan as to how to deal with it. I replied that I thought the tarp was the plan.

Apparently, the Department of Homeland Security's plan for dealing with people who attempt to blow up American airliners is to make sure that a Dutch film producer is seated nearby so he can body slam the terrorist man-caused disaster initiator and then smother the explosive with his hands.

Heck of a job, Nappy!

Never To Be Seen Again

"Advance, Britannia! Long live the cause of freedom! God save the King!"

If Gordon Brown said that he would be excoriated for jingoistic nationalism, Western/European bias and Christian chauvinism. He would then be ruthlessly mocked by the majority of his own party and ever commentator on the BBC. He would then be overthrown for leadership of his own party.

That past is a foreign country.

To My Flemish Friend...

...who ended up here by typing "ben hur tits" into Google...

Good God, man, what is wrong with you? For the record, the only tits I recall in Ben Hur graced the chest of Mr. Charlton Heston and we English-speakers would typically refer to them as pecs rather than tits... And I have a feeling that's not what you had in mind... At least, I very much hope not.

An Open Letter to Glenn Beck

I've put up from a lot with you, Chubby.

I've put up with you predicting the end of the world by inflation/deflation/terrorism/facism. I've put up with you pitching gold/canned food/asinine board games/teddy bears ad nauseum. I've put up with your maudlin little stories.

But now you've crossed the line.

Stop ripping Josh Groban.

Look, you fawn over that pantywaist Michael Buble. That prettyboy Sinatra-wannabe.*** He has 1/100 the voice the Josh Groban has! So hows about you put another piece of dutch apple in that piehole of yours and clam up. Capiche?


***Truth in advertising... I rather like Michael Buble myself, but I wanted to hurt you, Glenn, and Michael got in the way. If I were you I would now launch into some pathetic crying routine about how sorry I am and how much I need a hug. There's a reason why I'm not going to do that. I'm a man.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

How About Cuffs and Catheters For Everyone?

BREAKING NEWS: Possible new TSA rules in effect after terror attempt | Gadling.com

No, it's not some kinky sex thing... It's your next commercial flight!

...passengers will no longer be allowed to get up out of their seat for the final hour of a flight. You will also be prohibited from accessing your carry-on items during this period or from holding any items in your lap.


So you just have to sit there, stare straight ahead and piss your pants. Why don't they just strip everyone down, cuff you to your seat and let the flight attendants walk the aisle with a whip... At least that way a few of the passengers might get off on the experience. I mean, they're pretty much locking you in your seat anyway so you might as well go all the way.

All of this has long since crossed the line of being ridiculous. Bad enough that you have to take your shoes off and let some matron from TSA probe your wife (while she's wearing a Teddy Bear sweater no less... real threatening looking... trust me, been there). Now you're going to spend the last hour of your flight trying not to wet yourself while staring at the seat back in front of you.

Screen passengers as they board, profile appropriately (like El Al does), arm the pilots, secure the cabin door and tell them that they do not open the door no matter what. That's enough. Will it prevent 100% of terrorist attacks on aircraft? It will not. Only one thing would: keeping them on the ground.

I suppose I can't speak for others, but all of this does not make me feel one iota safer. It just pisses me off.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Democrats Are Right

GOP lawmakers change tune on costly health plans - Yahoo! News

Yeah, you don't hear that from me very often. It's true though. The same Republicans who voted for a massive expansion of Medicare 6 years ago when we couldn't afford it now oppose a massive expansion of the federal government's role in the health care system... And we still can't afford it.

Of course, neither party has a monopoly on hypocrisy since the same Democrats who opposed Medicare expansion are more than willing to get government even deeper into the health care system.

I have long since passed the point where I expect integrity from politicians. Even the ones I mostly agree with I still don't trust.

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Let's Finish Off Christmas With A Stupid Quote From A Stupid Preacher

Passions over 'prosperity gospel': Was Jesus wealthy? - CNN.com

The New Testament reports that Roman soldiers gambled for Jesus' clothing while he hung on the cross. They wouldn't gamble for Jesus' clothing unless it was expensive, Anderson says.

"I don't know anybody -- even Pamela Anderson -- that would have people gambling for his underwear," Anderson says. "That was some fine stuff he wore."

--Rev Tom Anderson, Word of Life Church, El Paso, Texas



If that isn't the most asinine thing you hear today then I pity you. Jesus wore some high quality underpants and He wants you to wear some high quality underpants too! If you're wearing ratty drawers it must be because you lack faith. You want to know how you can tell who is really walking close to God? Take a look at his underpants. And by their Fruit of the Looms ye shall know them!

The good Reverend is... How shall I put this? Full of shit. Yeah, that works. The prosperity gospel isn't Biblical, it isn't historically Christian and it ruins lives and hearts. If that's too blunt for you then shove it up your ass. It's a fact.

And for the record, my underpants are just fine, thanks for asking.

Friday, December 25, 2009

The MediaBlog Believes!

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

No Connection... None Whatsoever

Ex-President Carter offers apology to Jews - Yahoo! News

So Peanuts suddenly (and completely on his own, of course) decided it was time to make nice with the Tribe. Why did he suddenly feel like it was time to make amends with the Chosen People?

Maybe it had something to do with him realizing that he is closer to meeting his Maker. Or maybe it was the spirit of forgiveness in this holiday season...

Or maybe it might just possibly have had a little something to do with the fact that his grandson, Jason Carter, is running for a seat in the Georgia Senate from a district which has, quoting the AP, "a vocal Jewish population."

No, no connection at all. Nothing to see here, people. Move along.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Bend Him Over Again!

Punchline Magazine Blog � Will Jerry Seinfeld replace Conan O’Brien on Tonight Show? - Comedy Blog, Comedy News, and all things in Stand Up Comedy.

Question: Just how many orifices does NBC think Conan has?

I mean, they must be keeping count because they keep finding new ways to screw him. I don't really believe this rumor, but I'm not sure why I don't believe it because programming maestro Jeff "Zuckie" Zucker really hasn't given me any reason to have faith.

Heck of a job, Zuckie!

A Christmas Treat

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Auction Action Starts Right Here

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Monday, December 14, 2009

Better Skin... Now!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Dr Dermal. All opinions are 100% mine.

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Saturday, December 12, 2009

So We Should Definitely Trust Them On Global Warming


The Captain Meets The Governor



Don't kid yourself into thinking that the huge upward move in Sarah's poll numbers is meaningless. She has done herself a world of good on this book tour. She has a better television presence than just about any politician (and I almost hate even using that word with reference to her) I have ever seen. On top of which, a huge percentage of the conservative base likes her (and the Christian conservative base LOVES her) and she drives the Left to distraction in a way we right-wingers sort of enjoy watching.

She is going to be a force in 2010 and 2012. Count on it.

You're Evil, Miss Martha... Evil!


You must be!  Why else would you continue to torment us like this?  We'd like nothing better than to fetch you a skinny pumpkin spice latte and rush back to the studio only to have you take one sip, throw the rest in our face and scream at us that you didn't want whipped cream.  Our standing offer to Julie Banderas and Amy Robach goes for you as well.  Just call.

Friday, December 11, 2009

And What The Hell Does That Mean?

US: Time for 'strategic patience' with NKorea - Yahoo! News

Strategic patience is Foggy Bottom-speak for sitting on your ass and doing nothing.

Madison, Monroe, Gershon

Judge: ACORN funding restored - - POLITICO.com

Which one is the wrong one? Which one doesn't belong?

If you said Gershon then you would be wrong because all three of them apparently wrote the Constitution. At least, District Judge Nina Gershon seems to think so since she has single-handedly taken the power of the purse away from the Congress.

Apparently, Judge Gershon believes that the Congress does not have the power to defund an organization without getting the approval of the courts. To wit:

“The question here is only whether the Constitution allows Congress to declare that a single, named organization is barred from all federal funding in the absence of a trial."


She went on to issue a temporary injuction and to order the Department of Housing and Urban Develoipment, the Department of the Treasury and the Office of Management and Budget to continue the funding of ACORN without regard to a law passed by the Congress and signed by the President.

Judge Gershon's decision will undoubtedly be overturned, but that isn't enough. Such an obviously unconstitutional decision suggests either a profound ignorance or a complete disregard for the Constitution.

Either is sufficient to demonstrate that Judge Gershon is unable to fulfill the obligations of her office and should, therefore, be removed.

Diane's Choice

NRO: What I Meant Was You People Should Only Have One Child

Seems Diane Francis who extolled the environmental virtues of China's forced abortion One Child policy and insisted how the rest of the world must... Must! Follow them...

Yeah, you guessed it. Two kids. Going to have to choose, Diane? Which one of them?

Sunday, December 06, 2009

An Open Letter to Tim Tebow

Dude, I'm sure you're a nice kid. I can just tell. Even if I couldn't tell, the commentators constantly talking about how you're feeding hungry kids and reading to blind people and walking on water and shit like that would make it pretty clear. And the bible verses in the eye black... Really classy touch. And I say that as a bit of a thumper myself.

Here's the thing though, Timmy. If you keep crying when things go wrong for you... Well, how shall I put this... People are going to think you're a pussy. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. Pussy.

Just something to keep in mind, Timmy.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Maybe Barry Hired His Own Plumbers

Burglars Hit Offices of Rod Blagojevich's Defense Lawyers -- Politics Daily

Woodward and Bernstein? Call your office.

Get Clean for Christmas!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Dirt Devil. All opinions are 100% mine.

2009dirtdevilguide_250x250

You are going to have a lot of messes to clean up this holiday season. Spilled flour in the kitchen when you are trying to duplicate Grandma Sue's world famous pumpkin pie recipe. Torn up candy wrappers on the floor after the kids get into the Christmas candy... Probably while you're in the kitchen still working on that *&@*#$&@ pie. Whatever the source, holidays mean family, fun and, yes, messes.

If you're looking for a way to clean up any mess, big or small, than you don't need to go any further than the Dirt Devil Holiday Buying Guide. It shows you the great selection of cleaning tools Dirt Devil has to offer. Even better than that, it gives you links to sites where you can buy the products online to save. It even will help you find a way to get it shipped for free!

Along with listing the products and your shopping options, the Dirt Devil Holiday Guide also breaks things down... Gifts for Her, Gifts for Him... Something just right for everyone on your holiday list.

Here at MediaBlog HQ we have kids... So we have messes! The gift guide did a great job of giving me some ideas for this Christmas season.
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Friday, December 04, 2009

Time to Cut The Cord!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Yamaha. All opinions are 100% mine.

I can honestly say that I use my iPod just about every day. In fact, I use it pretty much all day... And all night long! At night I am laying in bed listening to talk radio recordings. I usually wake up with my earbuds wrapped around my throat. One of these days they will probably choke me.

During the day, I am at my desk and it is music rather than talk radio and those earbuds are still in place. The choking danger has diminished but they still get in my way when I am trying to work. A wireless solution really would be better and that's where the Yamaha PDX-60 comes in.

The PDX-60 allows you to enjoy all of the music, TV or movies that your iPod has to offer wirelessly. No more earbud cables to get in the way when you are trying to work or, for that matter, trying to sleep. You can even keep your iPod charged to you're always ready to hit the road.

Isn't it time to cut the cords? I mean, it is supposed to be a portable music and video device, am I right? Make it even more portable! Dump those cords and go wireless with Yamaha!

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Robert Gibbs: Sexist and Racist

Tense White House exchange - Yahoo! News

I mean, he must be, right?

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs (who has long shown just how out of his depth he is), had a little contretemps with April Ryan, the White House correspondent for American Urban Radio.

What they were getting snippy about really doesn't matter. What matters is that Gibbs told her to "calm down" and to "take a deep breath." He then went on to compare her to his son who is five years old. While we know how gauche it is to talk about a woman's age, we don't think Ms. Ryan will be troubled when we reveal that she is a bit older than young Master Gibbs.

Now, as you might have suspected from the fact that she works for a media company with Urban in its name, Ms Ryan is African-American.

We find ourselves forced to present the unpleasant hypothetical... Had Ari Fleischer made a similar comment regarding a minority female journalist would he have survived the experience? I would suggest not. Particularly if, like Mr. Gibbs, he weren't particularly good at his job to begin with.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Newsflash for Jane Krakowski

It's a "battalion" not a "battilion," dumbass.

I've never liked her.  I think she has one of those fake accents some people (Madonna?  Gwyneth?  Call your offices.) some people try to create in order to seem...  I don't know...  Cultured.

Incongruity, Thy Name is Beck!

Call me strange, but I find it a little disconcerting to go from a commercial for Food Insurance to Amy Grant singing "Grownup Christmas List" as bumper music to Glenn Beck screaming about how it's going to take a wheelbarrow full of greenbacks to buy a can of soup.

And The World's Collectively Asks

Meredith Baxter comes out as a lesbian on the Today Show after Perez Hilton blogs

Who?

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Let's Get Real

Larry King Live (kingsthings) on Twitter

Does anyone really believe that Larry King has even the vaguest idea what Twitter is?

Learning For Today and Tomorrow

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of USC. All opinions are 100% mine.

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The Jim Philips Quote of the Day

There's nothing wrong with seeing nice looking women dressed like sluts.

-10/27/2009