Monday, December 28, 2009

An Open Letter to Glenn Beck

I've put up from a lot with you, Chubby.

I've put up with you predicting the end of the world by inflation/deflation/terrorism/facism. I've put up with you pitching gold/canned food/asinine board games/teddy bears ad nauseum. I've put up with your maudlin little stories.

But now you've crossed the line.

Stop ripping Josh Groban.

Look, you fawn over that pantywaist Michael Buble. That prettyboy Sinatra-wannabe.*** He has 1/100 the voice the Josh Groban has! So hows about you put another piece of dutch apple in that piehole of yours and clam up. Capiche?

***Truth in advertising... I rather like Michael Buble myself, but I wanted to hurt you, Glenn, and Michael got in the way. If I were you I would now launch into some pathetic crying routine about how sorry I am and how much I need a hug. There's a reason why I'm not going to do that. I'm a man.

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