Sunday, February 28, 2010

An Open Letter to First Lady Michelle Obama

How about if I worry about my own fat kids and you work on getting your husband to quit smoking?

How Can You Not Love William Shatner?

A Little Humor For Your Sunday Morning

Got to love the kid's spunk... And, while we're at it, talk about a teacher with a stick up his/her ass... Yeah, you give the kid a dirty look. Yeah, you tell him it isn't appropriate (while you laugh on the inside), but detention? Teacher! Leave those kids alone!

I'm not sure CoCo is taking this well:

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Real Men

Bush and Cheney Reunite, First Since Leaving Office - The Note

Okay, God love Dubya and (especially0 Uncle Dick, but these two take male macho uncommunicativeness (if it isn't, it should be) to a whole new level. To wit:

“Mr. President, welcome,” began Cheney.

“Lookin’ good,” replied Bush.

“Holding up,” said Cheney.

“Lookin’ good,” said Bush again.

“Could be worse,” said Cheney.

And then they spat on the ground and punched each other in the arm.

Theater of the Absurd

Obama, GOP fail to reach accord on health bill - Yahoo! News

And here I thought they would reach some sort of grand compromise. This thing was nothing more than the Democrat's pathetic attempt at political theater to serve as cover for when they try to ram this through. The Dear Leader is convinced that his charm will always let him get the better of anyone.

I, for one, found him disgusting today. A strong word but exactly the one I have chosen. Disgusting. I found it hideously arrogant of him to constantly refer to everyone in the room by their first name while they, of course, have to refer to him as Mr. President.

It's all very well to respect the office of the President, but he owes the same respect to Senators and Congressman. I personally thought it was calculated.

This is a Republic, damn it, and the trappings of the Imperial Presidency have gotten entirely out of hand. I probably find it particularly galling coming from a man who has done so little to deserve it, but really it is true more generally as well.

Do You Know What the Constitutional Convention Was About?


Monday, February 22, 2010

I Fear For My Country

I'm just waiting for Larry King to say, "Hello, Dalai!"

Friday, February 19, 2010

Tiger Speaks, The MediaBlog Responds

Personally it felt like a mea culpa scripted by a corporate focus group. I could almost picture a flack from Gatorade, one from Gillette, one from EA... All of them sitting around a table and drafting the thing for him along with stage direction.

The President of the United States Holds The Tibetan People in the Highest Regard...

...but the ChiComs hold the mortgage.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I'll Humiliate You Into Being Healthy!

Floirda's Department of Health operates a program called Tobacco Free Florida.  As you might have gathered from the name, its goal is to encourage you to quit smoking.  Toward that end, they have what is called the Florida Quit Line.  In a nutshell, it's an 800 number that refers you to resources that can help you quit smoking.

Okay.  Great.  Swell.  Fine...  Whatever.

Lately, however, they've started running a series of ads portraying smokers as outcasts.  Smelly clothes, smelly hair, bad skin...  In other words, they're trying to convince you to quit smoking by playing on your vanity and insecurity if not your intelligence. Using tax dollars to humiliate the citizenry.  The nanny state sinks to new depths.

Now, since childhood obesity has become a national emergency to be handled by The Queen Bee can we expect commercials ridiculing fat kids in the near future?

Why Does Barack Obama Hate People With AIDS?

Less Aid for AIDS? | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

"Technically, it is not flatlining, but given the very considerable growth over the past five years, the AIDS advocates are considering this flatlining," said Ray Martin, executive director of Christian Connections for International Health.

George W. Bush will never get any credit for having dramatically, DRAMATICALLY, expanded assistance for fighting AIDS in Africa. Meanwhile, the Messiah starves programs which help the sick in Africa.

Why? Because Dubya was an evil Republican who hates Black people and queers... And, of course, it's only those evil queers who get AIDS so why would Dubya want to do anything for them?

And while we're at it, why would faith-based organizations (for faith-based, read Christian because that's what it usually means) want to help people with AIDS? Sure, ""the World Health Organization estimates that faith-based organizations deliver 30 to 70 percent of health care in developing countries," but that's got to be propaganda because everyone knows that Christianists hate those promiscuous people who got AIDS as a punishment from JEEEEEE-sus because they SINNED!

They Don't Even Have to Make It Up

Welcome to XFINITY | Features | TV & Movies | Internet | Voice | On Demand | Choice and Control | Subscribers | SmartZone

Am I the only one who thinks Comcast's rebranding of its internet/HD/whatever services as Xfinity has more than a little Dunder Mifflin Infinity 2.0 about it? Minus the molestation, of course.

Got a crappy product? Rebrand it, preferably with some hot, 90's moniker that includes an X... Or maybe an E... I?

Abandoning Jay

'Tonight Show' Bandleader Quits | Fancast News

Kevin Eubanks apparently doesn't want to be part of the Leno brand anymore. And who can blame him?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Glad to know I could pay to transport 1/5 of the cabinet so they could be on ABC for two minutes wearing hardhats that make them look like dorks.

Heck of a job, Obamy!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

You First

VHEMT: The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

Damn Canucks!

What, they couldn't find anything for William Shatner to do?  He's only the greatest Canadian of them all for God's sake!

Beat Poetry? Did We Really Need That?

Only in Canada would people cheer "please" and "thank you".

They Accept The Mark... They Don't Accept American Express

The last time we had an Olympic opening ceremony to watch I told you that it was a pretty good preview of the coronation of the Antichrist...  For those that believe in such things.

Here's another metaphor for that dread day...  Up With People concert meets Nuremberg Rally.

Newsflash for My Red Brothers

You lost.
It's our continent now.
Get over it.

Yeah, I'm watching last night's Winter Olympics opening ceremonies.  A whole bunch of bullshit about the First Nations.  Newsflash to my multi-culti dumbass readers...  These just happened to be the folks squatting on the land when we evil bastard white Europeans got here.  Want to know why they were squatting on it?  They had taken it from someone else...  Probably right after they slaughtered them and ate their livers.

One people displacing another is the way of the world since the dawn of time.  The only thing new is the pseudo-guilt we're all supposed to feel about it.  I don't.

One of the Things I Like About The Star Spangled Banner

Is that you can't really sing it like you're in a smokey jazz club.

An Announcement

I hereby call for the immediate annexation of Canada.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

More Than You Wanted To Know

I listen to the radio while I sleep. Specifically talk radio. I find it soothing. Whatever. I wake up in the morning with my earbuds in place.

Now, I also suffer from nausea just about every morning. Have since I was a kid. Post-nasal drip. See? Told you it was more than you wanted to know.

Anyhoo, of late there is a new commercial that runs about three times every morning while I'm drifting at the edge of consciousness. It is for Chase credit cards and some kind of rebate card. It's about this woman who is eating at a diner. In essence it talks about how great it is to get 3% cash back every time you eat out.

Now, I love rebates as much as the next guy. More, actually, since I'm tight. What I don't like is having someone say the words "tuna melt" in my ear when I'm already sick to my stomach. What I like even less is for them to say "tuna melt" three times in a single commercial. And what I like even less than that is for them to run the same &*^@&#$@ commercial three times in the morning. That's nine tuna melts.

Even at 3 in the afternoon, the idea of melted cheese on top of tuna doesn't do great things for my stomach. At 7am when I'm flat on my back it's even worse.

So, a plea... Chase, can you please, please, PLEASE do something about this. I'm sure I kicked in like three bucks toward your bailout so the way I figure it you owe me a little payback.

Thank you.

Monday, February 01, 2010

A Little Parenting Advice, Kindly Offered

Newsflash, bitch...

If you spent a little more time keeping an eye on your son and a little less time trying to sort your neighbors cans, bottles and newspapers maybe he wouldn't be getting blown by the neighborhood slut.

I'm just saying.

The Birthers Are Barking Up The Wrong Tree

He wasn't born in Kenya... Clearly the man was born in Japan. He bows to anything with a pulse... Including the mayor of Tampa.